As far as the "Grey stuff"..I've reduced it in my laundry by using Baking Soda where most people use fabric softener...I add 2 TBSP to 1/2 cup of HOT water, and pour it into the beginning of the rinse cycle...everything comes out softer, without adding chemicals/perfumes, and the rinses are cleaner on the rare item I handwash when I don't have enough to run a full machine load. It also works to help abate hard water, although I think more baking soda might be needed there, not sure as my current water has few minerals in it. I almost always use my clothesline, but am still using an old top load washer...found an HE front load and brought it home, but have yet to test it out.