I flew from Orlando to San Diego on Wednesday and all the news reports literally had me fighting anxiety attacks. I actually called the airline twice to ask about scanning and pat downs and were there any ways at all to avoid them. I was ready to go buy a used Prius and drive home instead of putting myself and my 12-year-old daughter through the trauma (and yes, to me, it's traumatic, and I'll tear the place down before I let anyone lay hands on my daughter). We've driven cross-country together twice, just the two of us, and it's a fun trip, so that was actually looking like a good alternative, but I didn't have time to shop, really, because our flight was the next day.

I got to the airport three hours earlier than normal because the local news had shown long lines at security and when I called the airline, that's what they suggested. I was even expecting long lines to return the rental car.

When we arrived, there were no lines anywhere. We drove right in to rental car return and were handled right away. We walked in to the ticketing/baggage check building and I was expecting long lines there, too, and at some airline counters there were average-looking lines, but no mobs. At the Southwest counter, there was absolutely no one ahead of us. The lady checking bags was leaning against the computer stand with her arms crossed over her chest. I breezed up to her and asked, "Where's the crowd?" She laughed and said, "You're it."

We checked our four bags and continued around to the first TSA checkpoint and here's where I got nervous -- would I have to stand down some TSA supervisor, explain why I don't want any strangers touching me or my daughter, and that I'm a cancer survivor, too, and don't want to go through the AIT machine -- but there was no line here, either. We walked up to the first checkpoint stand and there was one woman walking through just ahead of us. She joked with the guy about there not being any big crowds and he smiled back and laughed with her, and I said I was just thinking the same thing as he checked my ID against the boarding pass I'd printed out at my mom's house. He waved us through to the next pair of agents who were directing people through to the various scanner machines.

I had to let them know I was traveling with my father's cremated remains. This older man nodded and ushered me to a line with hardly anyone in it and told me to let the agent there know, so I did. I started unpacking my laptop and my daughter was doing the same, putting our shoes and purses in the bins, when the next agent, a woman, came up behind me and I said, "I was told to let you know that I'm traveling with my father's cremated remains."

She said she was sorry for my loss (seemed sincere), then said they had to put a coin under the case for the purposes of the x-ray machine, so she actually helped me get our bags situated in the bins and put a coin under the bag with the remains in it and as we were walking through the metal detector, the guy at the end had taken the bag with the remains in it (they were in a Mason jar, still in the plastic bag from the crematorium -- my stepmom's doing, and totally in my dad's style, and I'd wrapped that in a soft-sided insulated lunchbag) for further swab testing. I told him he was welcome to unpack the whole thing if he needed to, but he declined and gave the bag back to me.

And that was it for security. No AIT machines, no pat downs, nothing that the news had made such a big deal of. We took the tram to the terminal and there were no crowds there, either. We had two full hours to go before our flight, so we had some lunch in the food court and then we walked down and got settled in the wi-fi chairs near our gate. I let the agent there know, too, about the remains, and apparently that gets you a pre-boarding pass, so we were the first ones onto the plane, too. Go figure.

We experienced the same thing in Denver during our 1-hour layover. No crowds, friendly airline personnel.

Absolutely no drama whatsoever. No invasive anything. They were actually all very accommodating and even seemed like they were all in pretty good moods in spite of having to work on the worst travel day of the year.

Why didn't I get THAT on video and post it on YouTube? I wish I'd thought of it.

Roxy