Insulting compliments

[bcipam]

I've changed what I say to others now after this happened.. several months ago a friend and I met for our usual weekly mtb ride. I am always slow and pokey but strong and know the trail well, having done it 1000's of times over 25 years. My friend invited two other ladies along for the ride - each had never ridden the Canyon before. The 4 of us take off... the new ladies are off like a shot and my friend had to struggle to keep up. Me? Did my usual pokey but consistant pace. I knew how far I was riding and wanted to warm up properly.

After the first long hill everyone was waiting. The new ladies said respectively "Good Job, you are doing so well!" "Awesome, you made it up the hill!!!!". What? Of course I made it up the hill; I do this ride every week! And doing so well? Better than what? Clearly not the ladies who rode out ahead? What are they comparing me too???? We are off again and same thing happens on the next hill. The third time it happens "Good job!" "Awesome" I gave my friend one of those looks - you know "I am going to kill you later" looks. She got the hint and knew not to stop and wait any longer. I just fell off the back so I didn't have to heard the ladies chattering. After another long hill I heard one of the ladies coming down... she was done/too tired to go on and as she rode down I got one more "Good job! You are almost to the top!" I almost turned around to strangle her!!! Thankfully my friend and the other lady rode ahead and I was able to complete the ride to the turn around in peace.

At the turn around (12 miles out) I met up with the ladies. The new friend was exhausted and very tired. Of course she went out very quick and hard and didn't warm up. As we descended, we hit some technical spots and she took a bad fall. I rode past and had to stiffle the urge to say "Awesome - you were doing so well!" and instead stopped and helped her up. Thankfully, since this was my trail and mountain, I had the skill to ride ahead of her and not heard those words of "discouragement" again.

So now when I see someone ride by or up and I say something like "Great day to be riding!" or "Isn't that fun to ride!?!". There are times when "awesome" or "good job" are the right words but those times are truly special or reserved for 8 year olds!