I've just been skimming this thread and I find it interesting. I was thinking about this on my drive to work this AM.

I used to have a fun group of women friends and we'd get together all the time--not drinking at the bar--hanging out at the coffee shop, playing games, hiking, etc. This was when I was single. I loved it.

Then I met DH. I had a short courtship/engagement and a small wedding with immediate family only--we married after just 3.5 months. I had major surgery a week after we were married and I was house-bound for 3-4 months. Suddenly, all my friends disappeared. It was horrible and I didn't understand it. They wouldn't return my calls or my emails . . . it was very lonely. Sadly, I think that what I was going through was so traumatic that they couldn't relate and didn't know how to be a friend to me. All I wanted was a friend

Ever since then, I've had this longing for female friendships like I used to have, but I can't seem to find it. Most women I meet now already have their good friends, they don't seem to want to make room for another.

I have two good friends that live out of state. We try and get together once or twice a year. We often email each other but our schedules are such that we don't get to talk on the phone.

I have friends that I bike with. Friends that I run with. Friends that I play volleyball with. Friends that I work with. That's as deep as it gets.

I'm finally accepting that I probably won't have that "group" of friends again. But as DH likes to remind me, they weren't as great of friends as I thought they were. Otherwise they would have stuck with me through the hard times.