Marriage is such hard work.... sigh.

Limewave, I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. I don't know what to tell you but I'm sending you lots of hugs.

I think Tulip is a smart cookie about the need for clear communication in relationships. DH and I just hit the 21 years of marriage mark last weekend---the road hasn't always been smooth but it has given both of us ample opportunity to grow and become better people/partners. Recognizing that you cannot and will not change someone is the key. Can you live with what the things you want to change or can you learn to accept them?