I have actually begun using Chamois Butter. There are many other types of chamois creams out there, some cheaper, some more expensive but I like this stuff so no need for me to try another brand yet. I buy it either at Performance Bike or just about any other LBS (local bike shop). It runs about $15 per tube, but one tube will last you a while. You simply put it in your shorts and also on yourself in the nether region before riding. I find that I don't need it on shorter rides but it definitely helps on longer rides. Do keep in mind though that the cream helps with the chafing, which could be your problem, but your problem could also be something more complex (hopefully not though).

I have noticed a dramatic decrease in pain over just the past few weeks compared to my first week. Though it is still there, it is much more minor than initially so I have confidence it will continue to diminish over time. I understand how you feel with the frustration though, almost makes you not want to ride your bike! Also think about trying different shorts as every brand and style has a different kind of chamois which could fit your anatomy better.

Hope this helps!