This is long, but I just need to vent. I'm really upset.

My next-younger sister has breast cancer. She's been battling it for 11 years. She did great the first 5, but has done a long, slow, painful slide since then. She's been on and off chemo, went out of the country 2 summers ago for some experimental treatments that nearly killed her, has maxed out radiation therapy, and is now on a new chemo regimen. But she's slowly getting worse. She's got diffuse mets. She has no energy and can't work. She's gotten impossibly skinny. She's still up and around and does some stuff, but it's a chore.

Last week I flew out to see her and spend a few days with her. I thought we had a really nice time. I drove her around. We went out to eat. We went shopping. I took her to her dentist appointment. Basically we got to spend 5 days together without the rest of our large, loud, in your face family. It's the first time in a while and I really enjoyed it.


We had what I thought were some very good talks, too. My family knows that I don't sugar coat things. If they ask me a question they're going to get a straight answer. I try to say things in a manner that isn't harsh, but they're going to get what I think. So, when my sister asked me about continuing chemo, which the docs don't think is working, I told her it was up to her, but it depends on how she feels. I also told her that I would have quit long ago. I DIDN'T say that she should quit.

I got home on Friday. Last night I get an email from her saying that I made her feel like her life wasn't worthwhile and that she was very depressed.

WTF??????

I have no idea where that came from or what I could have possibly said. I'm really upset. I thought we had the nicest time together. I can't even call her this morning. She got on a plane to go visit our other sister (who's basically her cheering section, but that's another story) and is unavailable until later today.

Should I have just said, "You'll be fine"?

I just want to cry...