Some serious thoughts on "Not Rape"

[Trek420]

The only way I can see that this can change is by demanding of the men and boys in our lives that they treat the women and girls in their lives as human beings with agency over their own lives and bodies. And in the meantime, because that kind of change (revolution?) takes time, as the essay's author says, we have to protect and support the women and girls in our lives.

I feel we need like-minded supportive men as allies to be the examples of treating women well, to show this day by day and mentor younger men, boys. We need young men and boys to see that you can be a man and not abuse women.

Fact is I feel it's the only way to truly be a man.

My Dad taught us in many ways, most of all the way he interacted with my Mom (also Duck's mutual parents) that real men don't abuse women and girls (or other men and boys). It's not enough to hear that from us.

Of course the abused of any class or group are going to say "stop doing that to us !" and we can and will win this fight on our own.

It is more meaningful if men stand with us, be counted and say "this stops here, this stops with me". While the best place for them to do that is at home we also need men of quality to act as mentors to kids who do not have a man at home or have had issues with their Dad in the past.

Sexual abuse often begins at home and is generational. The abuser saw his dad abuse his mom, his dad saw his and so on. That is not to say that everyone abused as a child grow up to repeat it, but not all have the strength to say "it stops here". If young men and boys see abuse at home they may be more likely lash out at a later date in any relationship.

Where is my bumper sticker that says "men of quality support women's equality"