I got married late in life, too (35). We hadn't set up a house together yet, but we both obviously had plenty of our own 'stuff'. I actually found the registry extremely helpful because we could pick out things we actually needed.

Like our pots and pans and our everyday flatware, which were a mis-mash left over from college days and hand-me downs! We registered for something nice. What we didn't need was towels, linens or glassware - so we didn't register for that stuff. It made it MUCH easier for friends and family to pick out things that would be actually be useful as opposed to getting things like potholders and bathmats...you know?

But yeah, I could not have thrown a shower for myself. Not so much because it would look like 'gift grubbing' but because I'd feel like a loser with no friends!

And while yes, the term 'shower' is for showering a bride or a couple with gifts, it isn't always done that way these days. I have been to plenty of 'showers' where the bride requested NO gifts. It was a fun, girly get-together (possibly in lieu of a bachelorette party, which I find awful) for the female wedding guests and family members to get to know each other prior to the wedding. If you called it just a party - the the whole feel of 'pre-wedding' fun would be lost.