Marriage: it isn't all roses and rainbows

[Mr. Bloom]

Silver and I have been married nearly 23 years and have been together for nearly 26... There have been some really tough times...but we're still here

Are the feelings of unhappiness with a marriage normal after this many years?

Yep...unfortunately, the marriage often catches the rap for something else...but you're aware of this.

When you hit a certain point in life do you think about what you should've/could've done? Is this an early mid-life crisis?

Yep, but satisfaction is a choice that only you can make. I guarantee that if you take inventory of your life, your blessings exceed your challenges....and if you really focus, I'm guessing that 80% of your marriage is fine...but you're focused on the 20% (normal human tendency...example: take a plain white piece of paper, draw a dot in the middle, and ask 10 friends what they see...most will say the "the small dot"...not the big white piece of paper that's without blemish...hokey, but true...) YOU choose what you focus on...

Do you think I need to talk to a professional, and if so- how do you go about finding one?

Yes, Yes, Yes! No matter what encouragement you get, if you're depressed, that needs treatment. Couples counseling may not be bad either...but Mimi's idea may be a good first step. LOVE IS A DECISION...and MARRIAGE TAKES WORK. We've done counseling and are still doing it...even when things are great.

I feel kinda alone...

(((((TG)))))) You're not... Plus, you are SO FAR ahead of the curve to sense that there are issues...this means you have something to work with. Hang in there.

I will bring up something this week to him: asking him if he's happy or not, but I don't even know how to approach the subject. I don't want to say I'm unhappy and hurt him, because once you say something you can't take it back.

I encourage you to sort out your feelings first...particularly if you don't know why you feel this way and/or how to raise the topic with him