Many wise words have been sent already. I agree with them. After 34 years of marriage, it hasn't been all roses. There were few months once we weren't even on speaking terms, until I decided I had to brave it and start us talking again. Talking is scary when the person you need to open up to, even potentially argue with, is a person you don't want to risk estranging. But if you don't talk, then estrangement is almost inevitable. And avoiding that is worthwhile. Even after 34 years and several crises, there are still times -- a quick joke, a comment that goes right to the heart of some news issue, a glimpse of his *ss in bike shorts -- when I feel like I've just fallen in love with him all over again. So I "second" all those who've recommended that you make the effort!

But remember too that your partner is not your therapist, even if s/he may be one professionally. So those thoughts about wrecking your car ...? Expect some loving support from your husband, but use that support as a boost to seek professional help. I've been there too. I asked friends if they knew of someone, got a good suggestion from a couple of them, and got an appointment. She helped me see the world through new perspectives. She even taught me some handy self-hypnosis techniques for dealing with pain (I occasionally get mega-tough stomach cramps from Crohns). She didn't prescribe any anti-depressives, and later they've been found to sometimes have negative effects. If you have a good therapist and s/he prescribes them then be glad they're available, but call the therapist immediately if you feel new suicidal urges!