This is going to be long, so I don't mind if you just hit the back button and move on to something lighter.
Ok, so I'm coming here in hopes that you ladies (and maybe men) will have some words of wisdom, advice, face-slapping (to get me out of my funk), etc...

We've been married for 11.5 years (together for 13). The last few months I feel like DH and I are more like roommates than a married couple. We just go through the motions, it seems. I know marriage ebbs and flows and sometimes you're closer than others, but it seems that every little thing he does drives me crazy lately. We're both a little more snippy with each other than normal, and I've been developing my "back up plan" in case we get divorced. I love him, but sometimes I wonder if I should've just stayed single (which makes me teary-eyed). I'm such a different person now than I was in my early 20's and it seems that maybe what I wanted back then isn't what I want now.

We haven't talked about things. We're not great communicators- can't even have much of a discussion or debate without getting snippy. We've never been ones to talk about our feelings (that comes from both our families and our upbringing). I will bring up something this week to him: asking him if he's happy or not, but I don't even know how to approach the subject. I don't want to say I'm unhappy and hurt him, because once you say something you can't take it back.

I think that perhaps this all stems from that fact that I think I am experiencing depression for the first time in my life. I've always been very happy and outgoing, but the last year or so I've become an introvert and sad a lot. I don't know if my feelings about the marriage are stemming from hating my job, feeling trapped where we live (I've always moved every 3 years growing up and I've been here for 16 years), or just my general feelings of sadness. Last week on the way to work I wondered what would happen if I steered my car into the pylons on the highway (more than once). I think I need to talk to a professional.

I don't even know what advice I'm asking from you. Are the feelings of unhappiness with a marriage normal after this many years? When you hit a certain point in life do you think about what you should've/could've done? Is this an early mid-life crisis? Do you think I need to talk to a professional, and if so- how do you go about finding one?

Thanks for reading and letting me get this off my chest. I don't have family to talk to, and I don't have many friends to talk to. I feel kinda alone...