((((Smurf)))) There's definitely a lot of cr*p flying out of the fan these days, and you seem to have been hit by more than your share. In my depression experience, the feeling of helplessness while life goes spinning out of control is a trigger; making plans, however small and marginal, can give you back some of the sense of control. So my tip, FWIW, is to focus on what you can change for the better. Feel free to come over here and cry on some virtual manes whenever you feel the urge, and f'sure make the most of your equine support. We may gush on about our bikes from time to time, causing a bit of jealousy. Being a duck, most of that just washes off my back. I think a lot of us feel about the same: We admire others' bikes (including yours!), but don't feel like we have to have that one and that one and THAT one. Yeah, I know there are a lot of posts expressing bike envy or bike lust, but each such post is just one person lusting one bike. Out of the hundreds of us, mostly the response is "Nice bike! Congrats!" and then we go pat our own trusty rusty steed on the saddle and ride on. You also have a LIVE steed to pat, who nuzzles you back and responds to your feelings. Now THAT is something I envy!!!