I'm putting this in a separate post, because I have a perspective as a mother of adult children with their own lives, too. I strongly empathize with the desire to have all the chicks back in the nest on occasion.

My oldest son is married and has a child and one on the way. Both he and his wife are from divorced/remarried homes and both have whole and half-siblings whom they love. They both have large extended families with lots of aunts, uncles, grandparents and great-grandparents.

All told, there are about NINE holiday celebrations in late December that they are expected to attend. Of course, they live 150 miles from the central area where most of the gatherings are, and 150 miles in another direction from me, as well. They are under incredible pressure from the families, their own baggage, their own idea of how they want their little family to live.

Well, I opted out for them. I tried to look at it through their babies' eyes. I remember how much it sucked for my sons to never be at home on Christmas morning, and to shuffle from place to place. I released them from coming to my house for any reason ever except for if they really really wanted to, and that they could come any time. As a result, they come and hang out with us on the occasional weekend. Their other parents never get that.

That wasn't my goal, of course. My goal was to give them a gift, which is my blessing to form a life for their family in their own way, and to not add any holiday pressure to them. I actually had a frank discussion about it with them. I got a big hug from my son. I've made a lot of mistakes with them, but this was something I did right.

Maybe you could figure out a way to ask your mom for that gift, too, instead of a plane ticket.

Karen