DH headed out on a bike ride to a lake 25 miles away today. It's already in the mid 90's outside - forecast to get up to around 100 degrees. He's 51 years old, a little bit overweight, and he hasn't ridden much this year (longest ride was maybe 35 miles a month ago; otherwise a couple of 25 milers and a few rides to and from work at 6 miles each way). Otherwise, he plays some golf but not much else in the way of exercise. I told him I didn't think it was a good idea going that far and in that kind of heat when he isn't used to the distance or the temperature but of course he said, "I'll be fine. I'm taking plenty of ice water, and I've done 50 miles before" (a year ago). His dad died of a heart attack at age 55 and his younger brother had a heart attack when he was 40 (he did survive). His brother, who's a doctor, has been trying to get him to have some tests done, exercise regularly but in moderation, eat right, etc., but DH instantly goes deaf at those discussions and argues that it's all "paranoia."

OK, I know men don't get along well with the subject of immortality, but most of us realize there's a huge space between "paranoia" and "common sense." I always thought that building up physical activity gradually was common sense for everyone, but DH has a long history of taking on big things without preparing. He's gone on a 2-week campout with our son's Boy Scout troop to the Philmont Ranch in New Mexico (lots of mountain hikes with big backpacks) and he did very little to prepare - the other troop that was with them got really angry with him for not being able to keep up. He always just says he's "athletic" and he'll "be fine" and leaves it at that. And when he doesn't keep up, well, it's "the equipment" or "the weather got to him" - whatever.

Frankly, I'm getting scared. We've been married 23 years, and I've known of other women whose husbands do the macho thing of trying to do a sport or something they haven't done in years, but they usually end up regretting it and take the hint to grow up a little. My husband, though, always seems to go from couch to a long bike ride, etc., without so much as a sore muscle the next day. To make things worse, he's a smoker.

He just called - he's at the lake, so 25 miles back home now. At least he called --

I'm not a nag, I'm not "paranoid," but this is hard to watch. I'm glad he's active, but how about building up to it and not taking on too much? Any words of wisdom?

If not, thanks for letting me vent.

Deb