Quote Originally Posted by fastdogs View Post
My mom made a comment that this may be the last time we see her alive, so I feel like they aren't telling us siblings the whole story. She had her first mammogram at 50, and they found stage 4 breast cancer- removed a lot of lymph nodes and she's had a mastectomy, chemo, and radiation. Recently they found cancer in her spine, so she is still have some treatments. She is coming to visit for a couple of months since they have said she is "terminal" and can't work any more. She is kinda like a stranger to me, but I will be able to see her every weekend while she is here. I will probably treat her normally, since I don't know if she's been given any time frame or anything. They did say she can't travel much, but this is my first experience with cancer, I guess I'll just follow the conversation and if she talks about it I'll listen. She found out last year, and that was around the time I got my first bike, and rode in a breast cancer ride for her.
vickie
Keep in mind that some of us here on the forum, also see our sibling(s) once a year or less since they live thousands of kms. away. Maybe phone call, email or letter/card every few months. The level of frequency doesn't mean we love each other less or aren't close, but in our family...we don't confide everything to one another, only significant events. I have 5 siblings..so there are different communication styles with each one.

If it's merely distance but general goodwill between you and your sister, perhaps it would be meaningful for both of you, that you express in an objective way, that because of age gap, mobility due to school, it makes it more challenging to keep updated on each other over the years.

If I was in your position, then speak directly from your heart without blaming her or anything for "distance", that she will always be your sister regardless of distance and to express your discomfort to mention her cancer but you want to know if she is in pain/tired when both of you do things together during the visit.

I witnessed first-hand my mother who had not seen her sisters for...40 years when I accompanied her to San Francisco to visit. Yes!!!!!! Many immigrants who came to North America from Asia, prior to 1960's found it very expensive to fly overseas when air travel was more expensive. My parents didn't have money to fly all over North America when raising a large family on their low income.

It was such a revelation to witness..and the shock of each sister to see how much each other had ..aged/change.

Anyway, one of my aunts died from heart attack about 2 yrs. after my mother's visit. That aunt was 15 years older than my mother.

Please share good time and thoughts with your sister during her visit. You won't regret it...no matter, how painful certain moments will be.

A sibling is a friend for life...and isn't that one of the main reasons why parents have more than 1 child...to provide life companion(s) within the family.