broken heart how long?

[teigyr]

Ginny, your ex-husband sounds very selfish and kind of mentally abusive. It sounds like you went through a rough time.

I agree with everyone else. When it's time, you will know it.

After my divorce, I went out with people (some more seriously than others) and there were situations where I thought it was "it". For some reason, I couldn't make the decision to go further and I'd blame it on so many things. I lived in a horrible house yet I didn't want to move...I couldn't uproot my old blind cat (seriously!), etc. After more time went by, I realized it was me and the other person wasn't right for me. Honestly, the idea of commitment didn't bother me but the idea of losing what was "mine" gave me hives. After several years of dating and finding people I liked but couldn't commit fully to, I met DH. After several months, I realized that giving up my house and combining our lives was a good thing.

As far as a broken heart goes, yeah. I had that but I also had some deep-seated anger, some fears and insecurities, and all sorts of other things that a failed marriage can bring on.

Give it time. Your ex-dh and the new boy are two different issues but you do need to be over your ex-dh. Then, you have to meet the RIGHT person New bf might be right but don't rush it. Unfortunately for new-bf, he might just be part of your healing process and you have yet to meet the right person.

As far as how long it takes to get over it goes, I've seen people who reconciled their hurt early on and can go back into relationships quickly. I think though if a divorce came suddenly and without warning (ie you weren't in control), it'll take a bit longer to go through the grieving process.

Good luck

I'm jealous of your donkey! I grew up with one when I was younger. He used to chase cars