Hi girls... I don't know why it's easier to ask invisible computer cycling people these questions, but alas, maybe it's the antisocial scientist in me...
Nearly a year ago, my husband of seven years broke my heart and told me he wanted a divorce. He didn't give an excuse other than he didn't want to have to hang out with me when he would rather be kayaking or mtn biking after he came home from traveling for his job. I guess I have never had my heart broken before. I was a basket case (still kind of am...). After he delivered the news, he proceeded to live at our house until I made him sign the quit claim and got the mortgage in my name and started charging him rent... it took about 3 months after that for him to finally move out. It was probably the worst time of my life. I asked the doctor for drugs (for depression - she told me to self medicate by running).

Anyway, as a symbolic gesture of my moving on, I put a profile on match.com. I wasn't interested in 'meeting' anyone, I just wanted to say, "hey, I'm moving on and it's okay to see someone else". I went on a bunch of lousy first dates.... and then.... in Novemeber or December a *promising* sort of boy started emailing me. He knows the whole situation. We have been dating since late January (yes, for the conservatives out there, the divorce is final). All seems fine... he wants me to move to the town he lives in (it's close, but would require a new job and a move). He has a good job there; though he was willing to relocate here until he got that job. I have a horse, a donkey, an old dog, and I am a biochemist (not the easiest job to find in some random city). The barns up there are okay, but nowhere near the ideal situation now (they live at home with a barn, paddock, pasture, and my dog and I can go whenever we like). I live in a little log house in the woods with spectacular views. Mu dog seems to have a brain tumor and he has seizures from time to time. Right now we have carpet which is good for a dog that flops on the ground from time to time, and the new boy has hard wood floors. Moreover, the dog has lived where I am for six years. He has a dog door and comes and goes as he pleases and whiles the days away on the porch. The new boy lives in a Beaver Cleaver 1950s tract house with all his stuff in it and no room for my stuff. I have had an interview for a job that pays better than the one I have now, but would be WAY boring (analytical work rather than research).

Then, today I saw the ex to pick up some files that somehow ended up with him... and I have been a mess all day. Am I still in love with him? Am I mourning the loss of what I thought was super good? Why can't I get over this? What should I do about the move? If I was to be perfectly honest, other than the new boy, I wouldn't want to move to that other city. I have always made my personal life a priority over my career (that didn't work out so well for me last time), and now I'm scared out of my mind to make this sort of leap. I will keep my house (we plan to lease it out as a vacation home - anyone have any ideas about how to do this, I'm all ears), and I know enough people at the university here that I could probably come back...

insight, something to make me laugh, opinions, would all be welcome... thanks!