I cut my left thumb uncorking a bottle of wine last night. Because my husband was yelling at me. I simply can't be yelled at and operate a complex piece of machinery like a corkscrew at the same time.

It's still bleeding and to add to the confusion, my dog Earl cracked a toenail while birdwatching this morning and now I can't tell whose blood I keep finding on the floor--mine or Earl's.

And I need a tetanus shot.

Good enough excuse to drink the rest of the bottle of wine.