Dear So and So

[indysteel]

Dear Friend: I'm very happy for you and your upcoming wedding and I'm honored to be a bridesmaid given our twenty-year friendship. But you're turning into Bridezilla. I think it's tacky to register for your honeymoon and I really didn't appreciate being given a list of "expectations" when you asked me to be in your wedding party. It doesn't help that one of your bridesmaids is rolling in money and thinks the rest of us are free to spend oodles and oodles of it on your bridal festivities. And why, at the age of 38, must we wear matching, unflattering bridesmaid dresses? In periwinkle? Oh, and telling your matron of honor that her hopes of getting pregnant this spring would complicate choosing a dress is, well, just wrong.

I'll admit that I don't have the bride gene. I dream of eloping, preferably on a bike. At this age, I can think of twenty other things I'd rather do with my time and money. I dare say (at the risk of offending anyone else) that it all seems sort of silly. That said, I can live with your desire to have a big wedding, but if you get all "it's my day" on me--and make that day last something more like a month--then we're going to have words.

Cheers.