I just got off the phone with a very good friend of mine and I suddenly find myself in somewhat unchartered territory. She found out that she was pregnant about six week's ago. It was her second and she and her husband were very happy. During her first pelvic exam, the doctor detected two cysts, one the size of a baseball and the other a walnut, on both of her ovaries. Sadly, she then miscarried a couple of days later.

She had an ultrasound yesterday and the results were troubling enough that the doctor is referring her to an oncologist and has ordered a CA 125 test (an ovarian cancer marker blood test). Right now, that's about all she knows. Her sister had noncancerous cysts removed a few years ago and there's otherwise no history of ovarian cancer in her family. My friend is in her early 30s and has been in good health, although her periods have been less than normal since she had her first baby in July of 2005.

I feel just sick about this. Even if it turns out to be nothing serious, the amount of dread associated with the word "oncologist" is crazy scary. I know how I felt when my OB/GYN referred me to a breast surgeon for a lump he detected. I was 34 and my mom lost both breasts removed from cancer at that same age (nice family history, huh?). It turned out to be nothing (knock on wood), but I was terrified.

I've of course reassured her that I'm here for her. My approach in difficult times like this is to be pretty honest that I don't know exactly what to say. I told her that I was hopeful that her doctor was primarily being cautious but that, in saying that, I didn't want to sound dismissive of her very real fears and worry. She's a dear person and sadly, I don't think her husband is the most sensitive person in the world, her family lives elsewhere, and she doesn't have a tremendous number of close girlfriends.

To top it all off, another friend of mine is essentially dealing with the same thing. She has a bad family history of ovarian cancer and her CA 125 tests have been elevated for about six months but an ultrasound didn't reveal any abnormalities. She's planning on having an elective hysterectomy in the fall, but now is concerned that she's already sick.

If anyone has any advice on what to say, how to say it, etc., please let me know. I tend to think that listening, more than talking, is what's in order. Hugs, prayers and the like couldn't hurt either.

Thanks.

Kate