Dear Parents:

Would some of you consider buying your kid a bike...and riding with them once in a while? They might 1. get off the couch more often 2. be better able to transport themselves and 3. be less interested in drugs and alcohol. If you ride with them, you may even find out what is on their minds.

Dear lottery officials:

I am paying my dues but you are not coming through on your end. Thanks in advance for your attention to this matter.