Should I take a hint?

[bluerider]

Several others have said the same thing, but I'll share from my own experience.

I wanted to race. My coach coached a local club and sent me out to ride with them. I felt like they rejected me. So I rode with another local club and felt the same way. And then a third. I finally decided to start my own club (Velo Girls).

Well, over the years, I've gotten to know a lot of men who race. They'll say what some of the other women have also said -- no one is rejecting you or judging you. They don't really care. They probably don't see you as much a threat as they do the other men. Men are just different. They aren't welcoming and encouraging. They won't mentor you. They might think you're cool for coming out to ride with them, but they're not going to tell you that. They just want to ride their bikes and win the town line sprint.

Now, if you did attack them, they'd probably take notice. You might even gain some respect. But don't take the way they treat you personally. They probably treat the overweight guys who get dropped the same way. It's not about you -- it's not really about anything.

On another note, I would totally encourage you to start a woman's ride. Even if it's a recreational ride, you'd likely find women who aspire to race and are fit and fast. Who knows where that might lead.

Wow, I really appreciate your feedback and especially more so because I am a huge admirer of the VeloGirls group. You've formed an amazing group and I love what your group represents.

I have seriously thought about forming a women's only ride because I know a lot of the guys I ride with have GFs, wives, whatever who would really like to come out but never had the right environment to do so. Every opportunity I can, I take out new riders to my local riding spots. Although most have been guys, I have successfully brought two women into riding which I'm really pleased about.

I think there is a part of me that takes pride in riding with the boys. Not because they are boys but hopefully to show the women as well that we can do well in this sport and have a good time at it. Getting faster, going longer are all very rewarding but there is nothing greater than getting a new rider into the sport. That's part of the motivation in getting better is that eventually I can lead these rides and get more women out there!

I agree, men just aren't as "warm and fuzzy" ie nurturing like we women are. I shouldn't take it personally and just keep at it. I have earned my stripes by doing pulls when needed and once in a while go on an attack with the crew in the front. So I DO BELONG there and your words have confirmed that 100%.