Dear Pat from Michigan:

I don't know how clueless you have to be to get on the internet and Google Tuckerville and believe that Tanya's producers would be so careless as to leave the "E" off the name of her show in her email address. Why would Tanya use AOHell, anyway? Wouldn't she just have her very own website and her very own email address, like Tanya@tuckerville.com or something like that?

Even though you're clueless, I've enjoyed getting your misdirected fanmail. Thanks for not complaining that your emails are never answered. That would push me over the edge of temptation to pretend that I actually AM TT, and that would not be nice or fair. I don't know if Tuckerville has been renewed for another season, but if it is, feel free to write me again after every episode.

Signed,
Tuckervill

Dear Tanya Tucker:

I've had this name at AOL (and yahoo and hotmail and many, many online locations) for over 10 years. Yes, it was so long ago that allowing more than 10 letters in a screenname for thousands of people would have taxed the storage capacity of even the best servers in the world at the time. Even though I don't have the "e", I am still the original Tuckervill, and I expect the royalty checks to start any day, now.

Signed,
The Best, the Original, The Superfluous E Non-user, Tuckervill