Another TE Baby over The Bridge

[Aggie_Ama]

I have been a little quiet on the boards lately but some of you may remember photos of my little white schnauzer, Heidi. Two years ago she hurt her back, no clue why but miraculously she mostly recovered after some hospitalization. She wasn't 100%, she couldn't fully squat to potty and usually tinkled on herself, her legs shook if she stood too long and she could no longer get on furniture. But she was happy and still liked to play and snuggle.

Wednesday night out of nowhere she hurt it again. This time was much worse, she seemed to lose bladder control, if she tried to walk her back legs would just drag, she'd run into walls and was in pain. My brother is dating a vet who told us we could give her aspirin until I could get her to the vet. Thursday I worked from home and my little strong girl who never cried whimpered much of the day, she also bit me three times which she had never done. We took her to the vet and he told us there were some options of pain killers and anti-inflamatories but with spine injuries it is a guess if it would work. We have been trying to get our finances back on track and canceled all credit cards so we didn't have money to throw at maybes. Plus with her not having any bladder control, her legs looking like they were kind of twisted over (hard to describe) and having been crying for nearly a day I felt it was selfish to try to make her better when the vet was not optimistic she would have even the level of freedom she had. He told us we may possibly have to express her bladder daily, this just seemed like it was unfair to her so we ultimately thought it was time to painfully say goodbye.

We had to put one of our dogs to sleep 4 years ago and while it was painful it was nothing like this. Thursday after we lost her I cried myself to a migraine. Two days later I am still very emotional, tear up, I miss my Heidi Ho so much. Yesterday my boss sent me home because he could tell it was too hard on me, I ended up sleeping for 5 hours. Our other little guy, Jens, keeps looking for her still which breaks my heart. I know she had a great life, I got her at 12 weeks when I was a junior in college. She was the first thing my husband and I owned together (we were engaged). She never got very big, only up to 8 lbs and when we lived in apartments it would crack me up to watch my 6'2" husband walking with this little dog. Heidi was tough too, she wasn't a yappy little dog but she was an alpha dog. My Mom had a Rottweiler and Heidi was her best buddy but Heidi ruled the roost when she visited. It was hilarious to watch. I know it will get easier but right now I can't imagine when. To say this sucks is an understatement. The photo below is her on 6/19 after her last grooming, she always was so happy after a day of pampering.

[OakLeaf]

(((((((Amanda))))))) I'm so sorry.

[indysteel]

I'm so very sorry, Amanda. I agree that it's especially hard to watch another pet miss their buddy.

[lph]

I'm so sorry, Aggie_Ama! What a great life you gave her, and so much love :-)

[DebSP]

So sorry Amanda. (((Hugs))) to you and your family. Heidi Ho was truly and completely loved and you gave her a great life.

[emily_in_nc]

I remember your posting about Heidi before, Amanda. I am so very sorry. I know that decision was so incredibly tough, but ultimately, you did the right thing. You did what was best for Heidi, not what was best for you.

It does get easier, even though at first it seems like it never will. So many of us have been there with you and completely get it.

Sending virtual hugs...

[PamNY]

I remember photos of Heidi. I am so sorry for your loss. Incredibly tough decision, sounds like, but no question you did the right thing.

The first days are just awful, and watching another animal grieve is hard. I hope your heart heals soon, and happy memories bring comfort.

[Koronin]

(((HUGS))) I'm so sorry.

[zoom-zoom]

I am so sorry. Your post reminds me so much of when we lost our Gus years ago. He was only 11, which is not old for a kitty, but he had a severe seizure just days after having some blood in his urine. We thought it was a UTI, but after he suffered the seizure our vet suspected that he had a few tumors...urinary and somewhere damaging his nervous system/brain. He went from a boy seemingly in his prime to unable to even stand...no bladder control...no appetite. He died in the early AM, just hours before our appt. to have him put to sleep. It broke our hearts. We never had a chance to prepare for his loss. I know how destroyed you must feel. It's a loss no one can really prepare for.

When we had to put our almost 19 year old girl kitty to sleep almost a year ago it wasn't easy, but she had had such a gradual decline that we were better able to prepare to say goodbye when her quality of life was no longer good. We were sad and missed her, but so thankful that she'd had a good, long life and a comfortable passing before she was in any sort of pain.

(((hugs))) be kind to yourselves and snuggle Jens double.

[AppleTree]

Healing thoughts your way. I was with our doggie seven years ago when we had to put her down. It's still hard sometimes.

[TrekDianna]

I'm so sorry. I know how difficult it can be.

[mariacycle]

I'm so sorry for your loss Amanda

[salsabike]

Amanda, I am so sorry. We hand our whole hearts over to the animals we love--no protection at all. A great love but such a painful one.

[Dogmama]

(((Oh Amanda!!)))

My last German Shepherd had something similar (actually sounds almost identical) and it was a degenerative spine/nerve problem. I had been to a specialist when I first noticed problems and he said the treatments are not that great. I also opted to just wait it out & make the hard decision when the time came.

We make these decisions from our heads- but it's our hearts that bear the brunt of the pain.

[Aggie_Ama]

Thank you all for the kind words. As the days have passed I still miss my little girl but I know we made the right choice. She would have had a crummy life if we hadn't said goodbye. You could tell she didn't like when she felt wet and I don't think she would have gotten where she could move very freely.

On a more positive note, my co-workers sent me flowers for the loss. I just love that I work somewhere who understand my animals mean so much to me. And Jens has started to learn he is the only pup in the house, I think he doesn't like it but he seems to understand.