My heart feels like it's going to break

[Bike Chick]

I am so sorry for what you are going through. I know your heart is breaking but sometimes the most painful experiences in our lives are the ones we grow the much from. Hugs to you dear.

[Pedal Wench]

BIg hugs, and another vote for NOT saying anything to his family. Two outcomes - if you ever do get back together, well, how weird will the holidays be, or it will just make his future with his family unbearable. Just like you wouldn't want him discussing your sexlife with your family, it's offlimits with his.

[Dogmama]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I agree with everything said so far.

I want to reiterate what Tulip said. Take care of yourself financially, get those locks changed, house & stocks straightened out, etc. Who knows what is really going on in his mind - but you need to take care of YOU. You may need a therapist to help you muddle through this or a lawyer to make sure you're financially sound. Whatever it takes - get the help you need. You deserve it.

[crazycanuck]

(((assumed name)))

There are many many many smart TE ladies who can help you guide yourself to the next point.

Take care

[Selkie]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I agree with everything said so far.

I want to reiterate what Tulip said. Take care of yourself financially, get those locks changed, house & stocks straightened out, etc. Who knows what is really going on in his mind - but you need to take care of YOU. You may need a therapist to help you muddle through this or a lawyer to make sure you're financially sound. Whatever it takes - get the help you need. You deserve it.

This is excellent advice.

Sending you lots of good karma. Be good to yourself....

[cylegoddess]

Told my husband yesterday that I am moving out in 6 months.He has serious communication and mother issues too.
It hurts and it hurts like hell( I had a ten year anniversary coming up), but sometimes you just know that you have to do what you gotta do.
Never, even try to FIX someone. We, as women, try to do too much and this is just the straw that breaks the camels back.

I wish you lived near me, I would take you riding So I send you a big hug and a shoulder to have a weepie on and ride on, bike sister. You have done your best.

[Biciclista]

{{{{cyclegoddess}}}}}

yes, sometimes doing the right thing is the hardest. at least we know you're you; remember, "assumed name" could be ANYONE, including some warped out webtroll.

[lph]

biciclista, I don't really see why that would make any difference? It doesn't bother me that I might be giving support and advice to an "impostor", apart from the fact that I *very* much doubt that "assumed name" is one. If I knew people on this board irl I might not want to post under my usual name either. Some things are easier to talk about anonymously, and as long as no-one is asking for or volunteering sensitive information I have no trouble with it.

[snapdragen]

{{{{cyclegoddess}}}}}

yes, sometimes doing the right thing is the hardest. at least we know you're you; remember, "assumed name" could be ANYONE, including some warped out webtroll.

biciclista, I don't really see why that would make any difference? It doesn't bother me that I might be giving support and advice to an "impostor", apart from the fact that I *very* much doubt that "assumed name" is one. If I knew people on this board irl I might not want to post under my usual name either. Some things are easier to talk about anonymously, and as long as no-one is asking for or volunteering sensitive information I have no trouble with it.

And your fearless mods/admins can usually sniff out the impostors.

[azfiddle]

Another virtual hug - you have lots of great advice to turn to here.

You can take control of your own attitudes, behavior, future etc- you really can't take care of his. I agree with seeking counseling too, to help you navigate through the tough time and help focus your priorities.

I'm so sorry you have to cope with the heartache for now, but I hope you emerge from the challenge wiser and stronger.

[indigoiis]

Sometimes break-ups bring out the worst in people, and you are fortunate to have seen this guy's hang-ups BEFORE you got married to him. You know? Not really mature material for marrying. You are better off.

Please don't discuss him with his parents. Would you want him doing that with yours?

Plus, he could have been lying about his hangups for whatever reason... just not a good idea to discuss that with the parents, IMHO. He's a big boy and entitled to his fantasies, and his privacy, for that matter. If his fantasies don't hurt anyone then let it drop. I would only notify his family if he were a danger to himself or others.

[Sadie]

I think you've gotten some great advice here. Thinking about you!

[Tri Girl]

I have nothing to add to what's been said. I'm thinking of you, tho. I can't imagine the hurt you're going through. Every day will be very hard for a while, but it WILL get easier. Hugs to you!!!

[Dogmama]

{{{{cyclegoddess}}}}}

yes, sometimes doing the right thing is the hardest. at least we know you're you; remember, "assumed name" could be ANYONE, including some warped out webtroll.

Sometimes we learn by watching others. Regardless if the OP was a "webtroll" maybe there was somebody on this board going through a similar situation & they were helped. Who knows?

Personally, I felt that the original post was pretty heartfelt. And if I was going to spill stuff like that, I'd probably want to be anonymous too.

[KnottedYet]

Many of us who have been here long enough knew right away who "assumed name" is. She has been here for many years. Not a troll. Don't worry.