Reunions?

[bmccasland]

AC/DC
I grew up an Air Force Brat - so I went to two different High Schools. DID NOT like the one I graduated from. This was pretty much reinforced my freshman year of college when I went back for Homecoming, and got the glance, and "oh hi", nothing more.

Haven't been to a university reunion either per sae. About 5 years after I graduated I was invited to a "departmental" reunion camp out - multiple years of students and professors (I was a Wildlife Ecology major). And that was an absolute blast! Was fun meeting some of the students that were the legends, pranks, by the time I was there. And hearing retelling of some of the stunts I was a part of.. Moi? Innocent Moi? was amusing too. Nothing quite like passing around a collection jar to buy a professor a new pair of jeans because he blew the crotch out of his playing volleyball at the event, and didn't know it. We were all happy he had on tighty whities.

The difference between the two: High school, I felt like I didn't fit in, thus absolute no desire to see those people again. College - I did, and was a student in a small fairly close knit department of a major university. Of course it's been mumble mumble mumble 27 years since I've graduated, and I haven't attended anything since that camping trip.

[Crankin]

I moved in 10th grade and went to a really small private school after that.
However, when my mom died 12 years ago, one of my friends from middle school saw the obit in the Boston Globe and got my phone #. She called and said the 25th reunion was in 2 weeks! We went...
It was great. Most of the people there were the kids from my elementary school and neighborhood. None of my other close friends except the one who called (and actually lives about 20 miles from me) were there, but my first serious boyfriend was. Oh yes, the one I still saw until I went to college, flying up to MA from Florida. It was actually therapeutic. And the, ah, girls who still live in the city where I grew up were horrified we we hugged goodbye in full view of my husband. I had fun, but once was enough.

[Aggie_Ama]

I had a decent high school experience. Was involved (newspaper and civic type things) but I don't care about my classmates much. I live in the same area and sometimes run into them at the store. I find it often turns into a pissing match of what you have done, what you got and who you still run with. Funny thing is a run into people who didn't really consider me cool enough to be their friends, I didn't care then and I don't really care now. I do not talk to any of my high school pals. No big grand falling out, we just became different people. I am married to the boy I dated in high school but he went to another school. We didn't go to his 10 year, I think he would have liked to but I wasn't too thrilled. Mine is next summer, I don't see myself wanting to go.

[Midmichigangal]

My ten year high school reunion was supposed to have been in 2004 (I graduated in 1994)but the person in charge of planning it decided to change it to the following spring/summer but haven't heard anything since.

It would of been interesting to see how much older everyone looks, like adults instead of teenagers back in high school.

[Flybye]

I just went this summer with my husband to his. He didn't really like high school. We both had a BLAST. I can't say enough about how great it really was. I felt bad for those who stayed home and missed out. People really changed. There was one click who didn't, but the rest of the folks were FUN FUN FUN!!

[shootingstar]

Indy, you answered your own questions --you've moved way beyond those high school years and have found your niche.

I went to my high school reunion just 2 years after I graduated. So it wasn't super fascinating experience back then. I went primarily because it was 125th birthday for the high school. It is a high school that is of historic significance to the county and regional history. And I was the yearbook editor that discovered....the age of our school and made it a theme for the yrbk. with archival photos from 1920's, 1930's, 1950's. It was fun doing research (by myself) up in the attic of high school.

to continue since I had to return to my work...by interupting myself.

I went to lst reunion ..more because I felt I had some involvement it bringing to the attention of others about the age of our school.

Then fast forward 25 yrs. later just a few years ago, there was a mega-reunion since school celebrated its 150th birthday. Brought together 3,000 people over 1 weekend. THere was even a website set up for it for registration, photo-sharing. I didn't go..and didn't want to. Heard about it through 1 friend, the only person I've maintained contact since high school. At least she showed me photos of what our classmates looked like now.. That part was interesting.

Don't consider my childhood nor teenagehood with great fun. Would say the last 15 years of my life so far, much better and more fun. I feel less inhibited now than I did back then. Back then, it was bottled up energy, simmering dreams and trying hard to conform to expectations of others just to get to next stage of life.

So no reunion is no loss. Most likely other classmates didn't expect that I would end up in Vancouver, cycling, etc.

[OakLeaf]

My childhood was generally miserable. Like Crankin, I spent my last two years of high school at a school where almost all of the other 20 members of my class had been together since lower school.

But I went to my 25th and actually had fun. I'd cut my hair, I wore a dress, I even put on makeup. Nobody recognized me. All the men were fat, all the women looked fabulous. After the school event we all went to one of the women's house for a few more drinks and talked about our lives now and the GOOD parts of the old times - yes there were some, and G*d knows the only parts of my life that were good back then took place at school.

I'm on my class's email list now, and once in a while I respond to something. I don't have a great desire to go to another reunion - I might've gone to the school's 50th anniversary this fall if I hadn't just got back from Texas though.

So no paste for me as far as the high school reunions. More like baked potato - I could take it or leave it. Actually, I'm much less likely to go to college and law school reunions. I feel so inferior compared to all those people's achievements. It surely didn't help that a woman who was a good friend of mine in 7th grade was plastered all over the national news this year for an important book she co-wrote. I do sometimes feel like I'm the only person I've ever known who hasn't gone on to stellar achievements.

[ginny]

Excellent timing for this thread... thanks, Indy! So, I just went to Facebook for the first time ever... and I 'found' a couple of friends from HS. I emailed them and ...blah blah...

Now, maybe I'm going through an uncertain time at the moment (just moved, don't think I like the new job all that much, miss my old friends...), but I look at everyone's pictures or whatever, realize I haven't seen nor spoken with any of these people in years, and think: they look so happy - they have a brood of children, I have no plans for kids, and I think, wow! Have I totally chosen stupidly for my life? I chose science and a 'career' of sorts over a stable family life and children. I ride my bike, I run, I ride my horse and walk my dog in the woods. I am an athiest and all these people are absolutely religious. I think maybe I should leave the past in the past and realize I made much different choices from the people I grew up with.

Would I go to a reunion? Not after my facebook experience! Please pass the paste!

[Crankin]

Oakleaf, when I went to my reunion, I would say about 95% of the people (both genders) were lawyers or therapists. I was 42 at the time and my kids were 14 and 12.5. Everyone else had kids under 5, if they had kids and I got a blank look when I said I was a middle school teacher. Some people "couldn't believe" that. I wasn't sure if it was because they thought I was not smart enough or that because I was kind of wild as a teen, they couldn't picture it! I still had fun, though.
I guess I fit in now, because I am in school to become a therapist. It must have been in the water.
I found it funny to see how everyone had turned out. I had lots of friends in school and was very active in student government. Some of the former nerds were very successful people.

[Bluetree]

Some of the former nerds were very successful people.

That reminds me of the chant at CalTech basketball games (when they'd get slaughtered by the university teams):

"That's all right! That's okay! You'll all work for US one day!"


LOL

[indysteel]

I had a good laugh over last night's episode of 30 Rock. Liz Lemon (the Tina Fey character) went to her high school reunion and had a horrible time.

[ny biker]

This is a really interesting thread.

I honestly don't care if someone I went to high school or college with looks down on me because I'm not as "successful" as they are. I went to a big, well-known college that has churned out its share of movers and shakers. But so what - they all still put their pants on one leg at a time.

I made a conscious decision about ten years ago to become downwardly mobile. I had enjoyed my career for a while, but over time became dissatisfied with it. So I decided to just do what made me happy even if it meant less income, working in a cube instead of a private office, and a less impressive title on my business card. I'm good at what I do, my clients appreciate my work, and I'm happy. Anyone who looks down on that can kiss my butt.

Same with family. I'm sure some people who look happy in photos with their spouse and kids really are happy, but there's no way their life is perfect bliss because no one gets that. And plenty of those people are probably not happy at all.

[Pax]

I just chatted with my mom about this thread, she says she thinks I'm a "once you leave, you never look back" kind of person because of growing up military we moved constantly...and you never went back, never saw those best friends again.

[lph]

I think the various experiences in this thread have in fact summed it up nicely - the people you feel were and still are your friends are people you've stayed in touch with anyway, and would see regardless. Minus perhaps a happy handful that you are friendly with, but only see at reunions. The rest of them are just a bunch of people you happened to share a school year or two or ten with. You could be lucky and rediscover them as friends now, but chances are the things you end up talking and thinking about at a reunion, apart from school memories, are just the outer symbols of success or failure, jobs, wages, where they live, family. Whether they look fit or not. What they're wearing. Making friends takes longer and runs deeper.

I liked indysteels point about re-connecting to a person you no longer are, too.

[Mr. Bloom]

Indy, FWIW, Silver and I think the world of you where you are because it's clear to us that you are indeed happy with where you are

Also, FWIW, I too went to small Catholic schools and have similar emotions. (Although it's interesting that at Silver's 10 year reunion, it was funny when she leaned over and said that she had more fun at mine)

I don't know about your schools, but at mine, the nuns applauded superficially pious behavior, careers in the arts/sciences/medicine (as opposed to business/law), and were wholly uninspiring to me. Even though I've been successful, I don't fit their ideal of success (although they're persistent in hitting me up for money that will NEVER be offered!)

I didn't go to the 20 year reunion (we were in Venice) and expect that I won't go to 30...maybe by 40, I'll be mellow enough to enjoy it...