Dear So and So

[Brandy]

Dear self,

Good job running over the Silca Super Pista pump this morning with your truck.

Love,

Me


Dear love,

Thanks for not freaking out on me when I told you that I ran over the pump.

Love,
Me

[OakLeaf]

Dear (Male) Student with the gold lame stretch tights and red velvet cape,

I know this is an art school, but, ew.

Signed,
Even though I'm liberal, I'll always be conservative to you...
~Anon Staffperson

LMAO

I'm remembering an English seminar in the dim reaches of time. The professor came to class wearing a bright yellow suit, and a tie, I don't remember the color, but even louder than the suit.

Halfway into the class, a student stumbles in, bleary-eyed, bed-headed before that was the fashion, and still wearing his purple pajamas.

Without missing a beat, the professor looks at him and says, "I didn't think anyone was going to upstage me today."

[redrhodie]

Dear (Male) Student with the gold lame stretch tights and red velvet cape,

I know this is an art school, but, ew.

Signed,
Even though I'm liberal, I'll always be conservative to you...
~Anon Staffperson

Careful....your daughter could bring him home someday

[PinkBike]

last thursday 1 p.m. - its a gorgeous sunny day, mid 80's - it's my friday, and i'm looking forward to the 3-day easter weekend. decided to drive in to work today. i move the miata out of the garage to the driveway, with the top down as always. just enough time to eat lunch, and pack up to go to work.

dude, why did you feel you had the right to steal my radio right out of my car, right in my own driveway, just rip it out and break the console cover in the process?? why dont you get a job, bu++he@d?

p.s. loser - you ignored the $300 shimano wheel and new $50 continental tire in the passenger seat to steal a $150 radio

p.p.s. you left your can of budweiser in my driveway

[sundial]

Pink Bike, that stinks! Probably some lazy kid looking for a fast buck at the Pawn Shop.

[Blueberry]

Dear Plumber:

Did you have to leave a (used) condom?! in my driveway and coffee cups all over my condo before telling me you couldn't fix the problem with the tub? Thankfully, we're doing a cash offset and still closing (so far) despite your incompetence. You're almost as bad as the first plumber who cut a hole in the ceiling of *another floor* of the house.

Dear home warranty company:

Rough finishing a hole that was cut in the wrong floor of my house (with your authorization, but not mine) by an unlicensed plumber is NOT sufficient.

--A disgruntled homeowner who never wants to have a home warranty again

Dear real estate agent:

Did you have to give the plumber the lock box code? Couldn't you have checked to see if the condo was locked after he was done? I *was not* happy to get there last night to pack, only to discover that the door had been open, with the key in it ALL DAY.

--CA

[bmccasland]

Dear Stupid Kid and even dumber Mom on levee path last night,

Yes the path is there for everyone... BUT, playing chicken with an oncoming cyclist isn't smart. I saw you walk off the path as I was heading towards you, but then jumping in front of me with your hands on your hips staring me down, daring me to hit you rated more than just getting yelled at by your mom. Mom, when your kid does that, grab his arm and yank him off to the side. I will do my best to avoid walkers on the path, 'cause I know it's there for everyone except motorized things, but if you stand in front of me in a "superhero stance" you need to be hit by someone!

[Andrea]

Dear Mom,

Thank you for pointing out that I am already getting wrinkles just a few months before my 27th birthday. I use sunscreen and moisturizer religiously. Don't forget, you adopted me, so I don't have the "awesome skin" genetics that you, your mother, and her mother have(had) that allow you to look half your age at any point in life when your only idea of skincare is an evening smearing of Vaseline on your face followed by wiping it with a tissue to take your makeup off.

Just for that, when my hair has made its full conversion to gray (which has already begun and should only take another couple of years), I'm going to let the black dye grow out so everyone will know that you and your mother both color your hair (as if it isn't already obvious that 63 and 84 year old women with dark brown hair aren't natural).

Andrea

[Tuckervill]

Well, Andrea, aren't you glad you didn't inherit the hyper-critical snarky gene?

She's just jealous of your youth and beauty, dear. Let it slide.

Karen

[lph]

aaah - and that's so unfair that women with wrinkles "look old", while men with wrinkles look "dignified" or "patrician" or "have character".

I've seen my mother age. I've resigned to getting lots of wrinkles, all over. (I'm just going to be a bit more careful in the sun than she's been.) And now that I've seen women my age overdo it the Botox and lose all facial mimicry I truly don't want an unwrinkled face anymore.

[cyclinnewbie]

Dear Lord,
If you won't make me skinny, would you please make my friends fat?



Dear 20-something male driver,
Could you please not drive 3 inches away from my bumper as we're hurtling at 65mph down the freeway? I have my babies in the car, and would like for them to reach adulthood. You, I don't care so much about...if you want to risk your life like that, leave me and my family out of it.


Dear the guy in the white truck on the road two nights ago,
Next time you want to drive drunk (yes I saw you driving as if you were playing pinball...hit the center line, drift and hit the fog line, drift and hit the center line, drift and hit the fog line...and yes I was the one you cut off as you swung out into traffic as you left the bar), see the above message. I don't care so much about your safety, but how dare you put MINE in jeopardy!! LOSER!

[cyclinnewbie]

Dear mother in law,
Would you please JUST BE NICE????? Just once in your life? Can't you see that your darling baby boy and I have been married for almost 20 years and and HE'S HAPPY!!! Why don't you keep your judgemental b*lls^%@ to yourself you jealous meanspirited hateful spiteful miserable creature. If I want your opinion I'll ask for it. Otherwise shut it.





OMG that felt GOOD. Really really good.

[boy in a kilt]

aaah - and that's so unfair that women with wrinkles "look old", while men with wrinkles look "dignified" or "patrician" or "have character".

But then there is the whole hair issue. Men's hair migrates as they age. I no long have any hair on my calves and the bald spot is getting just a little bigger as I age. I'm basically ok with that.

However, whyinthehell did it have to move to my shoulders, back, ears and nose? Not just the nostril hair but hair growing on the outside of my nose. My arm hair now goes half way up the back of my hand.

[IFjane]

But then there is the whole hair issue. Men's hair migrates as they age. I no long have any hair on my calves... I'm basically ok with that.

I'd love it if the hair on the front of my legs would disappear as well...

Oh yeah, and that pesky mustache that I seem to have developed & have to keep bleaching.....

[7rider]

Oh yeah, and that pesky mustache that I seem to have developed & have to keep bleaching.....

What about those stupid chin hairs????
What's up with that?????