Dear So and So

[mimitabby]

Kit, maybe there are creative ways to get around this rule. If you disassembled your bike in the office, it wouldn't be a bike, it would be 2 wheels and some other parts. You could hide parts in dozens of different places. I think this is a challenge your devious mind can easily conquer, while making obvious the inaneness of the current policy.

ROTFL!

[Daydrummer]

Okay, I gotta get in on this thread...

Dear Rude Patient,

Thank you for throwing the cup of grape juice at my head! Very original, as the guy in the room next door just cursed. Please keep in mind that i'm here to HELP you, to assist your doctors in finding out what is wrong and to treat you, so you can get back out there in public and throw stuff at other people. If you don't want to get better, then please go back home, so the car accident victim can have a room now.

Sincerely,
Your friendly "Wake Up Call".

[IFjane]

Dear Plastic Packaging Manufacturer,

I know you are so proud of yourselves when you make those nifty almost-hard plastic containers for whatever-it-is-I-need. You must be thrilled when you realize that your newest creation is as safe as Fort Knox. You may impress yourselves, but I, for one, am NOT IMPRESSED! I have ruined scissors, box cutters, knives, chisels, screw drivers, chain saws (ok, not chain saws)......and cut my fingers, hands, wrists and legs......and gouged furniture, floors and cabinets trying to get into the darn things!

Today I went to Bed Bath & Beyond to pick up some of those plastic "dryer balls" on the advice of a co-worker. There are wet clothes sitting in the washer and I can't get the stupid balls out of the package!!!

By the way....the package says, "The Natural Way to Soften Fabrics"......ok, correct me if I'm wrong, but these things are not only encased in plastic, but are MADE OF PLASTIC. Since when is plastic NATURAL?

Love & kisses, Jane

[divingbiker]

Dear recycling coordinator--

In what strange universe does it make sense to you to provide thousands of employees with individual plastic recycling bins for office paper when we had perfectly fine cardboard recycling bins already? Do you not get that plastic is here forever? And it takes energy and petrochemicals to produce that plastic? (And no, it doesn't make it all right just because some of the plastic is "post consumer".) And to do it in the name of Earth Day no less!

Sincerely,

A very discouraged employee of the agency whose mission is "protecting human health and the environment"

[IFjane]

A very discouraged employee of the agency whose mission is "protecting human health and the environment"

I know! You work for Exxon???

EPA?

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Dear mail-order clothing company (not TE)....
What posesses you to ship me one little soft t-shirt in a plastic bag, packaged inside a huge cardboard box FILLED with a ton of styrofoam peanuts!!!!!??????
What on earth are you thinking??????? That the t-shirt might BREAK????
Dear employee who answered my stern emailed complaint- please do as you said you would and pass my complaint to the Bosses.

[pooks]

Dear WEATHER:

If you simply HAD to kick up a fuss and create a tornado warning that had to be broadcast for the entire Dallas/Fort Worth area, couldn't you have had the common decency to wait until AFTER HOUSE WAS OVER?

To play with us this way, and play nice until the LAST TEN MINUTES and THEN lower the boom?

Not polite. Not polite at all.

Now that you've had your fun and interrupted my favorite show by wiping out the entire ending, could you just be satisfied with that and forget about actually making a tornado?

Thank you.

Grrr.

[trickytiger]

Dear Fate:

Thanks for letting me rock that chem midterm. I NEVER have been the second one to finish an exam before- usually I am in the back frantically making up the answers until the very last second! As for the only other student who finished before me, thanks for making him 1.) Very Attractive and 2.) My lab partner.

Also, thanks for convincing my supervisor to lay off the hours this week. Hopefully, after my crazy schedule of midterms and whatnot, Knotted won't have to slap me awake when I show up for my volunteer shift at her work. (Which sounds like quite the dramatic place lately!).

[Kitsune06]

Dear chick at work:
my "What I'd tell you if you promised not to get mad"... I'm sorry you're still single. I think it's because you're very defensive. So afraid to look 'desperate' that maybe you fail to look interested enough? So needful of commitment (but fearful of looking like it) you give this vibe of only really wanting mr. 'right now'.
I wish I knew a nice, single guy to introduce you to, but to be honest, I think the dark shadows and phantoms in your past haunt your present in a catch-22 way. You need love and comfort to rise above them, but they cause you to chase away prospects. *sigh* *hug*

Dear Webster's:
You define "Humane" as 1 : marked by compassion, sympathy, or consideration for humans or animals
2 : characterized by or tending to broad humanistic culture : HUMANISTIC
yet in so much of life, I have never seen a more hateful and dark creature than the human. A cat will maul something to death in play, but it will not spitefully sneer, maim and mark for life, then feel better about itself for it.
the capacity that distinguishes humans has come down to something Augustine identified 1,600 years ago when he asked what "can be the purport of the injunction, know thyself? I suppose it is that the mind should reflect upon itself."
Perhaps it is our self-realization, the ability of the human to be introspective, that is the key to our internal darknesses and cruelties? Why then the mocking word 'humane'? What creature could be so cruel to a human besides another of his species?

Dear Pixies:
Where is my mind?

[logdiva32]

Dear rude Army Gateguard,
Why must you insist on giving the 2 worst options in traffic, to stop and show you my ID. Instead of allowing me to stop in line with the cars, you make me pull to the right. Then re negotiate through the early morning darkness over a quick 4 lanes to make the left. I ask you this all the time and you say it is safer. WHAT WOULD YOU KNOW... It is not...Dumb A$%.urrgghh
Or go past my turn to the cross walk and walk across 2 streets and out of the way then renegotiate myself back through traffic on a rocky road.
Well Mr. hypertensive, teeth missing, smoker guy. Hope you live long with all that.....uuggghh.

[logdiva32]

Dear so-and-so
If you told me once, three of four months ago that I could keep my bike upstairs, and I politely declined because after a 10mi hammerfest carrying a 30# bike up 4 stories felt like a death sentence, please remember that at one point in time that option was available to me.

Today, after my ride in, I didn't have my lock so I carried my bike up the 4 floors (because the building manager specified no bikes in the elevator) and asked politely if that option was still available. You not only told me you didn't remember having ever told me that, you also went to the office manager to inquire. You weren't polite about it, came back to me and said "He's not thrilled, it's only okay on an exception basis." WTF. You were the one who looked into bike parking for me!

GRRRRRRRRRRRR

I wonder do you have janitorial staff. stayed at a hotel where the janitorial staff let me lock my bike up in the basement on the level that says "no guests" cause they treat people like crap down there. They usually know all the hiding spots, and hate managers so they never tell..

[IFjane]

Dear MS 150 team leader,

Next time you hear a rumor that I will not be riding the MS 150, please ASK ME FIRST if it is true. Please do NOT take it upon yourself to contact the director of the local MS society to ask what to do with the money I have raised. Instead, check with me because I INTEND TO RIDE EVERY frickin' INCH of the ride!!!
sheesh!!!

[Batbike]

Dear Hurting Friend,

I know you are going through a hard time -- loss of spouse via divorce, loss of house via moving, loss of money (see other two losses) --can all be devastating. In your time of need, you called me and I have tried to be loving, patient, and concerned during your turmoil. Not once I have spoken of me or anything going on in my life, knowing that one day you will be whole again and we can really talk. I have made efforts to keep you focused, keeping you from that dark black hole of loneliness you enjoy, and keep you talking about your situation -- that is why I call you weekly. But, now you resent my calls and my concern. You have decided that I am intrusive and insecure because I haven't heard from you in over a week and want to know what is happening with you! Geez, you could be locked in a dark room refusing to come out (it has happened before), you could be hurt by your now drug-using ex-husband (have no idea what he would do!), or you could be pre-occupied by keeping really busy (a new concept). How am I to know if you don't return my calls in over a week?!

Ok, you finally called -- angry, but you called. I now know you are moving forward, focusing 100% you, and not realizing who you are hurting while you heal. That is OK, because you need to heal but I don't need to be hurt while you heal. I will not call again, but I will occassionally think of you and wish you the best. Maybe one day you will come back to me as my "whole friend", the person I knew before all this happened. Maybe not. Take care, friend.

[weathergal]

Dear God/Mother Nature/whatever,

Enough with the tornadoes. I know that they are part of what interests me about meteorology, and my paycheck after 11 hours of overtime in the last 24 hours will be nice. However, me and everyone else at work are getting tired.

If you must produce tornadoes (and from looking at the pattern it looks like you do), then could you keep them over open country? We really don't need another Greensburg.

Thanks,
weathergal

[Deborajen]

Amen, weathergal!

A big thanks to you hardworking weather people. Greensburg had some advance warning, and I'm sure the loss of life would have been much worse if not for that. The destruction is tremendous - I can't believe anyone survived such a storm.

Deb