What does turning 40 mean to you?

[Bluetree]

I'm hitting the big Four-Oh in a couple of months with some seriously mixed feelings.

On one hand, I don't feel 40, or middle aged, or whatever (except that I have less tolerance for LOUD noises and bad behavior). I'm in better shape than I was at 30, at the same weight I was at 20 and have been told I look much younger than my age. I have a successful career, great friends and a wonderful, supportive family. I have never suffered from health problems, and neither has any of my family. I consider myself a truly lucky person.

Turning 30 never bothered me... so why I am so upset at turning 40?
Does being single have anything to do with it?
The thought of my next birthday makes me sad, for some reason.

[maillotpois]

Just turned 40. Life's still crazy, hectic, fun and unsettled. But being 40 didn't really change anything for me. Other than the new wheels I got for my birthday!

http://forums.teamestrogen.com/showt...349#post157349

Most of my close friends over the last 10 years have been mid to late 40's and older. They're all as active as I am if not more and are generally happy women, so I have good role models. There are plenty of good role models here on TE, too!

[suzieqtwa]

Hey Joy,
I just turned 53. Age REALLY bothers me also. I weigh the same as I did 30 years ago ,and I'm in pretty good health, and also look young for my age. I think was bothers me the most is the wrinkles ,and lines on my face (thank goodness for botox) . I'm so much better mentally than I was in my 20s ,and 30s. Age effects all people different. I can do a lot more than some of my friends in there 30s. Before the bike, I was a runner. I ran the Portland Marathon at age 51. 40 ,and 50s are good ages to be. You sound like things are good for you ,so embrace the fact that you are healthy,and strong.
Suzie

[Veronica]

Just turned 40. I am in the best shape of my life, have a terrific supportive husband and some awesome friends.

Life is good.

I get a lot of flack from my siblings each year. I am the youngest. I've taken to reminding them that they'll always be older than me and then ask them if they want to race.

I'm always somewhat melancholy around my birthday. It's lingered on this year.

It is just a number. Getting older beats the alternative.

V.

[LBTC]

The 40's are the age of POWER for women! Take all of your wisdom of those years and add it to the vitality and youth you still feel and you are a force to reckoned with!

I'm looking forward to 40....it's only 10 months and a few days away....(and I intend to have Crohn's completely under control well before then, and hope to be back to the best shape I was in 2 years ago)

Hugs and butterflies!
~T~

[mimitabby]

40? for me; long long ago and far far away.

But it can be the best time of your life. and it's just a number. You've heard from a lot of us already who have told you. I know people your age who are older than me. I'm 55. You are young, healthy and beautiful.
If finding a guy is important to you, focus more attention on it. But it's not your age.

When I was 40, I was still so focussed on my kids that my health was a disaster. You're way ahead of me. Charge forward and don't look back.

[Trek420]

40? It is to laugh 40 was 10 years back.

My 50th b'day was kind of a disaster but I plan to have a much better time on my 51st....and from here on out.

40 you're barely just getting warmed up. And what V sed, it is just a number. Getting older beats the alternative, many don't get this far. Enjoy the ride.

[snapdragen]

I loved turning 40! Now I'm looking forward to 50....well, most of the time I am. I occasionally get an OH MY GOD moment... It's just a number - you are as old as you want to be.

I have this at my desk:

How old would you be, if you did not know how old you are?

[KnottedYet]

I turn 40 in a few months. I still feel like I'm 34.

30 was a relief. I was happy to turn 30. I'm kinda feeling a bit of a crisis around 40, because I'm not done being a 30-something yet.

It's just numbers, but something doesn't sit right. I'm not where I always thought I'd be at 40. (financially, socially, professionally, etc.)

[kelownagirl]

Well 40 is looking pretty good from where I am right now. But I agree with all these girls. I am happier, healthier, and smarter now that I ever was when I was in my 20's and 30's. Life really IS better as you get older. Age really IS just a number. Most of the time, in my mind, I am only 35, and often I'm only 5.

I think the ages ending in a 6 are the hardest for me mentally though. More like the downslide to the next big _-0. 26, 36, 46.

[LBTC]

...but something doesn't sit right. I'm not where I always thought I'd be at 40.

Heck, I'm not where I thought I'd be *ever*, and it turns out I *love* it here!

Maybe the answer to help you through is some sort of ritual. Joseph Campbell's words around this talked about how rituals, which are sadly lacking these days, were a way of providing meaning and the context of our own story to the passage of time. Perhaps something that marks the significance of having lived through those 40 years, and having become who you are now, with all of your strengths, desires, passions and flaws, is just what you need to ease yourself into the right mindspace to love 40 and love yourself at 40!

If it were me, I'd begin now, thinking about all the different aspects of my life, and I'd try to integrate each of them into the ritual somehow. Kind of like the old rhyme for a bride "something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue" but with more significance for you: something bike, something healthy, etc, etc, etc...

What do you think? A possibility perhaps?

Hugs and butterflies,
~T~

[Thistle]

hey bluetree

i am 46 and reckon 40's rock dont stress the single thing (yeah, i now that's easy to say when you have a wonderful guy like mine), but i felt the same way about turning 30 that you do about 40.... and i started going out with DH a week before i turned 30 .. .sure picked up my 30th for me .

I guess my point is, i was happy on my own and wasnt looking for someone, and then poof, it just happened.

Having said all that, i would go back to my thirties for anything. I much prefer being 40 something. It's just great to be at a age where you know you matter . And i never felt that before my 40s.

You sound like a beautiful, healthy strong woman. Is there anything better than that no matter what age you are? Celebrate that and dont give the "number" a thought.

[Trek420]

Heck, I'm not where I thought I'd be *ever*, and it turns out I *love* it here! If it were me, I'd begin now, thinking about all the different aspects of my life, and I'd try to integrate each of them into the ritual somehow. Kind of like the old rhyme for a bride "something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue" but with more significance for you: something bike, something healthy, etc, etc, etc...

What do you think? A possibility perhaps?

Hugs and butterflies,
~T~

How about "ride your age" Or twice your age...in metric....backwards....each year on your birthday.

[emily_in_nc]

Ditto to everything said here already! I had a bit of a panic when I turned 40 as well, but I'm in the best shape of my life in my 40s (I'm 45 now), and people mistake me for 35 all the time. With my increased 40s fitness, I weigh what I did on my wedding day in 1985 again. I am also in much better shape financially and career-wise than in earlier decades, get to travel and do fun things, and am doing things I never thought I would do (like hiking the grand canyon, kayaking, and mountain biking!) The 40s is a very freeing decade for women, once you get past the stigma of the age thing -- it's just a number, and it's all in what you make it.

The downside of the 40s for me: losses. I felt that I led such a charmed life in my 20s and 30s in so many ways. In my 40s I've lost my last two grandparents, my father, and my dog. It's been a tough road, and as I get older, I know I face more losses of people I love ahead.

With age really does come wisdom and perspective, though. I like the "me" I am now much better than the younger me. I am also much more accepting of my strengths, weaknesses, quirks and neuroses. I have a much easier time just being who I am and speaking my mind. I like that.

Welcome to the "40s and fabulous" club!

Emily

[7rider]

I'll be turning 40 later this coming summer. Except for the fact that I was out with a busted up knee from a mtb crash, I have to say I was in better shape at 30 than at 40 - physically, at least. Emotionally, financially.... 40 is looking better.
I can't really say that I'm looking forward to, or dreading, 40. It just is. Not much I can do about it, and as someone said....it's better than the alternative!