ever feel guily for riding? (warning... sad post)

[caligurl]

sooooo do you? i have for the past couple of weeks... and even moreso the past few days.... as a matter of fact.... my mileage has dropped considerably...

why do i feel guilty? well... a few weeks ago it dawned on me that i was "ignoring" my dogs (along with housework and yardwork.. but that doesn't bother... they weren't getting the walkies they used to... hikes on the desert.... or even just having us home on the weekends with them... so they can know we are there while they sleep all day...

sooooooooooooooo i decided that next year i will NOT ride my bike 6 days a week.... i planned to still ride on weekends.. but not all day long both days... and limit workdays to tuesdays and thursdays for short rides... and get back into walking the dogs more.... or just laying around on the couch watching movies with them...

so they guilt was already in place... however... do not put off til tomorrow what you can do today.....

you see.... my what i thought one day was a healthy happy 6 year old darling baby boy samoyed... decided to stop eating... not alarming... he's always been finicky... however it continued and progressed to the point that NOTHING would entice him.... sadly... to make a long, sad story short.... after hospitilization, blood tests and ultrasounds, etc (all within the matter of a few, too quick days).... we found out he had stoicly (spelling) been hiding any symptons....

i had taken time off work to ride over the holidays.... i never in a million years dreamed that these days that i didn't end up riding... would be my last with my darling baby boy.....

one day between visiting him in the hospital in the morning and picking him up later to transport him to a differnt vet's office for his ultrasound... i rode.. and cried the whole time... (very short ride).... the other days i didn't ride at all.....then over the weekend (saturday afternoon) i forced myself to go ride since hubby was home with our other dog and 2 cats... and because i felt i had to get some "normalcy" into my day.... i only managed another very short ride.... but the whole time i was out i felt horrible.... guilty.... i couldn't wait to get home and be with brie (dog) and the cats).... sunday i didn't even ride.... just couldn't do it! i keep thinking about the time i "wasted" riding my bike and not spending it with my furbabies.....

hubby tries to tell me not to feel this way... but i can't help it......

thanx for listening.....

[AllezGirl]

Family vs. riding is always a problem for me. I'm a single mom and I have my son every weekend. (his Dad is off during the week, so he has him Wed., Thurs, and Friday) So, if I want to get any weekend ride time in, I have to leave him with friends. He doesn't seem to mind, but his dad just loves to throw it in my face. Like I don't feel guilty enough. I think he's just jealous that I actually have a life, and I'm sure he'd feel differently if the tables were turned.

[runnergirl]

Is your little guy gonna be ok? Do they have a diagnosis?

I can understand the guilt, but riding will make you feel better, and dogs can really pick up on mood. If riding gives you a lift your optimism will have a good effect on them.

I feel guilty for riding pretty frequently and leaving hubby home. He can't keep up with my group rides, so we ride together about twice a month. Plus he works in DC 4 days a week so I only see him Fri-Sun anyways, then I have a 2 hour ride Sat AM and a 4 hour ride Sunday. Race season is going to be really brutal, but he says he supports me riding 110%, so I make sure that what time I have with him quality time-not just co-existing time.

[caligurl]

Is your little guy gonna be ok? Do they have a diagnosis?

no.... he's at rainbow bridge now..... it was his kidneys.. and there were no symptons (as is usual in the case of kidneys) until too late.... too much damage... we kept hoping and hoping it would be something else.... it was devastating to learn the truth.... i keep looking back... looking for signs... but other than finicky eating (which he's been a finicky eater from the day we brought him home back in 1999.... there were no signs.... until too late.... it was all too quick... he was too young and it was too unexpected....)

which is my biggest guilt of all... that i feel like i didn't spend enough time with him this last year.... i've now been smothering brie (dog) and bailey and jasmine (cats) to the point that they are probably thinking "leave us alone, mom!"

[jobob]

Sounds like you might need a bit of a break from riding. Kick back, and give yourself time to attend to all the things that have been weighing on you.

Sooner or later, hopefully, you'll have a clear(er) conscience and a renewed interest.

Like others have said, the hills (and the roads, and the trails) will still be there, they're not going anywhere.

Best of luck ! And sorry for your pup, that has to be hard.

- Jo.

[Nanci]

I'm sorry to hear about your dog. That (kidney failure) happened to a friend's cat- no sign at all until it was too late, and even then, he was just slightly off, just not eating as much as he ought to have been. They had time enough to try _everything_ and were still unable to save him. Don't blame yourself for not noticing. It is animals' survival technique to not appear ill, ever.

Nanci

[Trek420]

Dog vs rideing is always an issue for me. As a "single parent of a dog" I feel guilty spending time away from my pup. That's why a lot of my rideing is commute, longer rides are near here. I have an agreement with my ex, who orriginaly adopted said dog for dog care if I wanna get away. But I find I always miss her (the dog that is of course <vbg>). I'm actually considering some way like trailer that I could take Mae with on flatter rides.

Caligirl you wouldn't be a good pet owner if you didn't feel guilty being away from your dog. With so many pet owners I wonder why they got a dog in the first place just to keep it in the back yard. You took good care of your pup.

Enjoy your other fur-kids, they grieve for their friend too.

[SalsaMTB]

Awww...I'm so sorry about the pup.

I know exactly what you mean about guilt with riding. DH and I almost always ride together, which means the pup is home alone. We both feel a little guilty that we are out enjoying the fresh air while she is locked inside. She's a really lazy dog, but still enjoys a walk around the neighborhood and loves attention. We've had weekends where we decided not to ride because we felt like we were abandoning our dog. We now try to take her out for a walk after our rides.