Hubby is mad that I won't ride......

[GeorigaGirl94]

I'm fairly new to this site my husband usually posts here. My problem is this: he bought a bike for me which I LOVE- BUT my saddle is a nightmare. It came with a Selle Italia and then he gave me his old Selle Concor which looks like he stole it off Fred Flintstones bike! It is sooo uncomfortable for me to ride. I try and I've been successful agreeing to go on a few rides with him and I had a great time BUT it really hurt my sensitive areas. He thinks I'm just being a picky B**** and basically I just don't want to ride with him. We are at it again today. It's a beautiful day and I would love to go riding with him but I refuse to keep hurting myself. He keeps saying I ride with the same kind of saddle I gave you...YEA well it hurts me. I absolutely love my bike and really enjoy riding with him so how can I express this to him and make him believe it? He is a true cyclist right down to the bone..records all races, buys all the mags and rides whenever he can. If I'd let him he'd have our room plastered in bicycle stuff including the bikes...

I really want to enjoy the sport and get into but he's not helping at all!

ANY advice would be greatly appreciated as I'm sure he'll be reading them..

Jamie

[tulip]

HEY HUBBY!!! THE LITTLE LADY NEEDS A SADDLE THAT WORKS FOR HER! THIS IS NOT ROCKET SCIENCE! DON'T SKIMP ON THE SADDLE! AND SHE MIGHT NEED TO TRY OUT A BUNCH TO GET THE ONE THAT'S JUST RIGHT, SO DON'T GIVE HER A HARD TIME!

really!

[Zen]

Doe he not realize men and women have different anatomy?

[maillotpois]

I couldn't ride 10 miles on the saddle my husband has. And it's a great saddle - for him. It makes me feel like I am being given a colonoscopy.

[SadieKate]

Hey, Hubby! When you menustruate and wear an underwire 16 hours a day, YOU can talk. Until then, help her find a saddle that fits her anatomy.

What, you expect her to hike 20 miles in your castoff hiking boots also?

If you're "a true cyclist right down to the bone..records all races, buys all the mags and rides" you'll notice that everyone rides a different saddle.

And, GeorigaGirl, nothing says you can't go to the bike shop yourself and find a new saddle.

[tulip]

And, GeorigaGirl, nothing says you can go to the bike shop yourself and find a new saddle.

Absolutely! (well, I think she meant can't)Did you buy the bike (I mean, go to the bike shop and try bikes out and compare fit)? Did you get a pro-fit on your bike?

Proper saddle + proper bike fit = painfree bike rides

[mimitabby]

with or without hubby, start looking for better (for you) saddles. start here in our saddle threads and you also might need to be fitted to your bike !

[GeorigaGirl94]

No I didn't get a professional fit for my bike. He picked it out, bought it and luckily for me ..it's great. I've had one other bike that I absolutely hated. (he's tried to get me into cycling for years). Unfortunately he is one of the know it all types and I'm trying to explain that I'm not being picky or trying to be lazy I just don't want to hurt. My butt if fine it's the umm...can't say this delicately...my other area that hurts...goes numb. Hours after a ride I can wipe and they will still feel kinda numb and sore.
There is one bike shop here that I really like so maybe I'll chance going in alone or with him (being a silent helper) and try out a saddle. I've heard lots of good things about Terry. I wear Terry shorts and for the most part love them. This is also my first time using clipless pedals so I am a true beginner...

Hubby says my brakes are my best friend...I still get a lil nervous going downhill especially steep hills and tend to use my brakes more than I probably should. I'll learn as I go..but I just wanted some input on the saddles to show him I'm not the only one who understands what an uncomfortable saddle is all about!
Thanks guys

[Zen]

it's the umm...can't say this delicately...my other area that hurts...goes numb.

Labia majora?
Labia minora?
Perineum?
Twinkie?

[Flybye]

No I didn't get a professional fit for my bike. He picked it out, bought it and luckily for me ..it's great. I've had one other bike that I absolutely hated. (he's tried to get me into cycling for years). Unfortunately he is one of the know it all types and I'm trying to explain that I'm not being picky or trying to be lazy I just don't want to hurt. My butt if fine it's the umm...can't say this delicately...my other area that hurts...goes numb. Hours after a ride I can wipe and they will still feel kinda numb and sore.
There is one bike shop here that I really like so maybe I'll chance going in alone or with him (being a silent helper) and try out a saddle. I've heard lots of good things about Terry. I wear Terry shorts and for the most part love them. This is also my first time using clipless pedals so I am a true beginner...

Hubby says my brakes are my best friend...I still get a lil nervous going downhill especially steep hills and tend to use my brakes more than I probably should. I'll learn as I go..but I just wanted some input on the saddles to show him I'm not the only one who understands what an uncomfortable saddle is all about!
Thanks guys

I can't help but wonder if there is a little more here than just the saddle. I know that the saddle is AN issue, but I would be willing to bet that the nervousness and his pressure to get you to ride when you don't want to is really part of the problem. Especially if you say that he is a know it all type and within the context of him thinking of you as being a b****. I don't know about you, but I have to do things my own way with my own expectations and within my own time frame. You also need to know that you MAY not LIKE to ride and that if you don't, it is perfectly OKAY.

If you do like riding and would enjoy it more with a new saddle, my advice would be to get a saddle that works and find time to ride without him, thereby increasing your confidence with the brakes, the saddle and the clipless peddles. Maybe ride when he doesn't even know about it so you can surprise him. Find a quiet bike path. I can't imagine being new and trying to ride with someone else, ESPECIALLY someone like my dear husband. I need time - QUIET TIME - to hear myself think - to think about important things like "stop sign coming up, how do I unclip again??" and "which gear shift is up and which is down?" and "I'd like to stop and rest now" I sure couldn't do it with someone controlling handing out advice and helping when all I need is some quiet time to get my confidence built. ONCE you have YOUR confidence - then join him.

If I am way off base here, then snag a saddle and get riding!!

[bouncybouncy]

NOW...before you get discouraged or overwhelmed (like I did) take the time to search saddle threads and read a few...here is a recent one on girly parts and all

http://forums.teamestrogen.com/showt...ghlight=saddle

One of our local shops lets you lease saddles (they have a basket full of them) you can try out and get an idea of what you like. Maybe you have a shop in your area that does the same.

...and keep reading here!!! These gals are full of knowledge and always there when you need them regardless of the topic!!!! Lean on TE...we will keep you upright!!!

[GLC1968]

How is it that your hubby can post on this forum but yet not immediately get that cycling for women is different than it is for men?? If he did the research necessary to find and purchase your bike, you'd think he'd have gotten at least a small clue that female anatomy affects bike set up and comfort??!!

I agree with others that reading the saddle threads on this forum and going to your LBS (probably without him in tow) is your best bet. It is possible to find a saddle that will work for YOU...so don't get discouraged! Good luck!!

[Grog]

I feel your pain (not literally thankfully!!).

Just because your husband knows-it-all doesn't mean that he can fit your bike properly for you. Obviously the bike is NOT properly fitted because you are resting your weight on your soft tissue instead of your sitbones. It's normal to have some soreness on the sitbones when you start riding. It's NOT normal to have numb genitals.

Your saddle could be perfectly fine, but too far back on the bike, or your stem is too long, causing you to stretch too much and rest your weight on your anatomical soft spot.

I would suggest going to a bike shop you trust - on your own, unless your husband can really just be quiet, even in his non-verbal language - and getting yourself fitted, and getting your sitbones on a saddle of the right width. Perhaps your current saddle will be just fine once it's properly located on the bike. Perhaps not, and then you get to shop for a new one.

If you're not fitted properly, you can switch saddles all you want, you may never be comfortable, and never enjoy riding.

Good luck. It shouldn't hurt like that and good for you for trying to get it fixed.

[Eden]

I think the gist of what your husband says is true - you don't want a big squashy saddle - more firm tends to be more comfortable BUT - women are built differently than men and the saddle he finds comfortable may be a torture device to you.

A few things to remember:

If you are new to riding you backside will take some time to adjust to a saddle. Expect to have a bruised feeling over you sit bones after you ride, which will tend to lessen and go away the more regularly you are using the bike, BUT a saddle should not touch, rub, numb or otherwise affect your soft tissues. Some people (like me) prefer a cut out or a channel, others are good with just a nice firm saddle.

You will need a saddle that is matched to the width of your sit bones - it is typical that women will need a wider saddle than most men, which may be why your husband's hand me down saddle is so uncomfortable. If your sit bones are falling off the edge.... ouch!

Squashy (gel, padding, etc) isn't always better or more comfortable - if you sink into a saddle it can cause all sorts of rubbing and pressure problems that a firm saddle won't. A firm saddle may cause your sit bones more discomfort in the sort run, but that will ease. A saddle that rubs will *never* get better.

[SadieKate]

I think the gist of what your husband says is true - you don't want a big squashy saddle - more firm tends to be more comfortable BUT - women are built differently than men and the saddle he finds comfortable may be a torture device to you.

Did I miss something? Where did he talk about a squashy saddle?

Though I do agree with you 1,000 and 1%+ about squashy saddles.