got a private message

[guest1]

i wrote something in response to a discussion forum and someone decided they did NOT like what i said ... that is OK ... i appreciate different opinions! however, this person decided to go after me via a private message, attacking me and what i said ... this is NOT OK ... i do NOT appreciate being attacked. i feel it is an open forum and if something is written in the open forum format it should be addressed in the open forum format ... there i go again, stating an opinion!

[Pax]

Lots of differing opinions on PM's, many people believe they are sacred and still others think "don't write it ANYWHERE on the internet unless you want it viewed by millions".

I'm somewhere in the middle with my view of PM's BUT on another forum when I received a particularly vicious PM I gave the author the opportunity to make it public in the thread or I would. He chose to be a coward and said hideous things to me so I copy 'n pasted back into the thread. I caught a lot of flack over it but I truly don't believe in allowing cowards to use the cover of PM's for personal attacks.

[Looeez]

I don't use PM's myself but I'm guessing it was in response in to your post of sidewalk cycling that effectively killed that thread. I had been going to post there as it's an interesting topic but I found your post off putting so didn't bother.

[Kimmyt]

I think in public internet forums that people are loathe to attack someone in public. As one of the previous posters mentioned, what is on the internet can be seen by anyone. I think it respectful that if someone disagreed with your opinion, that they did not attack you out int he middle of the forum.

I equate it with this: would you rather get in a fight with a SO in the middle of a crowded restaurant, or would you prefer it to happen in private?

If you don't feel comfortable with her response to you via PM, talk to HER and not the forum about it.

Some people call it 'not airing their dirty laundry'

I don't know what was contained in the PM nor do I care, I'm just saying my opinion on this as a member of various forums where things like this have happened. I, for one, think it good that someone who disagreed with you addressed it to you only, and did not clog the forum with vitriol.

K.

[Pax]

I think in public internet forums that people are loathe to attack someone in public. As one of the previous posters mentioned, what is on the internet can be seen by anyone. I think it respectful that if someone disagreed with your opinion, that they did not attack you out int he middle of the forum.

I equate it with this: would you rather get in a fight with a SO in the middle of a crowded restaurant, or would you prefer it to happen in private?

If you don't feel comfortable with her response to you via PM, talk to HER and not the forum about it.

Some people call it 'not airing their dirty laundry'

I don't know what was contained in the PM nor do I care, I'm just saying my opinion on this as a member of various forums where things like this have happened. I, for one, think it good that someone who disagreed with you addressed it to you only, and did not clog the forum with vitriol.

K.

Excellent points K. Interesting isn't it, how different forums have such different "cultures"?

[mimitabby]

Queen and KimmyT haha i agree with both of you.
My take if someone is being an A.H. in a PM it's creepy and yes
you have a right to let everyone know.
But if you want to be sensitive and not embarrass someone "hey, your pants
are down" a PM is entirely appropriate.

I say it depends on the message!

[Triskeliongirl]

PMs have their place. For example, I often use it when a discussion gets way too personal to be of interest to the larger group. BUT, you also have the option of instructing the site that you will not accept PMs. You also have the option of ignoring them.

[snapdragen]

If the pm is truly offensive, forward it to the administrator of the board with a complaint.

[guest1]

interesting feedback ... gave me MUCH food for thought and i appreciate your input! yes, some things may be better in a PM ... i can accept that.

as far as what i initially wrote to get such a vicious attack, it may not have set well with everyone, maybe it even killed the thread. if it did, then another thread needs to be started. opinions and new threads -- that's what makes life interesting.