how to deal with the death of a fellow cyclist

[silver]

I was a on a ride today and one of the men that I was riding with was hit by a car and killed. How do I process this? I'm in shock! help!

[Grog]

I don't have anything to say but I send you a big hug...

I hope you and your riding partners can get together to mourn...

Good luck. I have you, your friends, the cyclist who died and all his loved ones in my prayers...

[Triskeliongirl]

WOW. This is a tough one, but I'll take a crack. First of all, I don't know you, and I know nothing about what happened, how close you were to this person, etc., so I think what you need to do reach out to other real in the flesh people that are close to you, and ask for their help. Maybe others that were also on the ride or close to the cyclist that was killed. I imagine there are different emotions you need to deal with, the loss of a friend, the in your face reminder that our sport has its dangers, etc. While I have never experienced what you have, I have had my own bad cycling accident, as did my husband. We got over the fear of cycling again by learning from our accidents, and coming up with a set of rules for how we can continue. These are things like biking more defensively, not riding in rain or darkness, taking descents cautiosly, stuff like that. Regardless of who was 'at fault' in any situation, one can always learn from all accidents, and decide on a set of cycling behaviors that can at least reduce the risk. I am really sorry you are going through this, but I think you need to turn to the people that are truly close to you, and ask them to help you get through this.

[silver]

thank you so much. Actually, my husband did comfort me and he suggested that I get on my forums and reach out. I usually ride alone and this was an organized group ride. I don't really know other cyclists. I had been riding alone and these three men came up behind me and encouraged me to try to stay with them. We were chatting and they were pulling me along. We had all exchanged names and pleasantries. So I didn't know them well at all.

[Brandy]

Wow silver...I am so sorry. I can only imagine that it would be a difficult thing to deal with, even not knowing the man well. My thoughts go out to his family and friends and I hope that you can process this.

[tprevost]

oh my goodness, what a terrible thing to have happen! I feel so terrible anytime something like this happens to anyone; let alone someone you were riding with.

I don't have any great wisdom for you but am sending thoughts and prayers to you and the cyclist's family.

Trac'

[silver]

Please be sure that your riding buddies have your SO's cell phone number and what hospital that your insurance prefers. Or have this info in or on your bike. We couldn't locate the wife and had to drive to the wife's parent's house to get her cell phone number.

[esther231]

I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through. Just sending a hug to you. I'm keeping you and his family in my thoughts.

Heartbreaking.

[Triskeliongirl]

Hi Silver, maybe if you tell us more about what actually happened, that will help. Then we can all learn something from this unfortunate incident. Was this a club ride or event? What was the name of the group? How exactly did the accident happen? Even when out riding alone, its always good to leave a map of your planned route with someone, and of course one should always carry emergency contact info., insurance card, etc., although in a real emergency you are ideally brought to the best facility, trauma center, etc. to deal with your injuries. -e