Whining about work and dh (I'm probably PMSy)

[limewave]

Complaint 1:
So I have a degree in Design and Marketing and 15 years experience, but am I allowed to use those skills in my job as Marketing Art Director . . . no, of course not. That would just be silly. Obviously the guy in Sales has much more knowledge about design than I could even hope to acquire. Arghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!
Another good design killed this morning

Complaint 2:
I am somewhat of a traditionalist and therefore, take on certain roles as wife and mom. However, I do also have a full-time job with an income that rivals DH. So, why is it that DH feels that he DESERVES to jump in his PJs the second he comes home from work, sit in his chair, and eat dinner/snack undisturbed until bedtime? If I ask him something or get too close he puts his hand in my face and says "space." He does work long hours and often doesn't get home 'til 8 PM. But, would it KILL HIM to wash a few dishes, pick up a few toys, sort a few bills, put away his stinky socks???????? I don't think I'd be so upset if he took on some the traditional male roles (taking out the garbage, mow the lawn, handywork, etc) but he doesn't!!!!! And, if I ask him to do one thing he acts as though I've asked him to sever an arm or something. I'm just the nagging wife. . . . .

Of course, I'm perfect in every way

[mary9761]

[mimitabby]

Arghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!
Another good design killed this morning

Complaint 2:e So, why is it that DH feels that he DESERVES to jump in his PJs the second he comes home from work, sit in his chair, and eat dinner/snack undisturbed until bedtime?

What kind of design did you make? (we'd like to hear about it!)

He can't do chores in his PJ's?

(hire a maid?)

you need to train him. if he EVER does even ONE of those things (like pick up a sock, put a dish in the dishwasher) PRAISE him!

YOu should have a talk with him, but do NOT complain about his BS, simply
shine it on and PRAISE him for the leettle tiny tiny things he does.

good luck
also married to a man who comes home and kisses me and gets on the computer and expects things to materialize (like dinner) a lot of the time.
Not All of the time....

[Adventure Girl]

If I ask him something or get too close he puts his hand in my face and says "space."

Woah! This is not acceptable! How inconsiderate and rude! And what kind of example is this to the little cutie in your avatar?

[SadieKate]

He could put a hand in my face only two times . . . . Has he always done this or is it a new thing?

[massbikebabe]

Practice turning over the chair, and then turn the sucker over with him in it!!

One hand in my face would have been a sign for me to get a lawyer!!!





karen

[Bikingmomof3]

If I ask him something or get too close he puts his hand in my face and says "space."

If my DH said that to me it would be the very last time he ever did it. The gesture and attitude shoes blatant disrespect.

[mimitabby]

I can't imagine Dh doing that either, but maybe that's something they both do?

remember, she has to live with the guy..

[Cassandra_Cain]

WTF? Sorry but you aren't PMS'ing honey. That is wayyyyy out of line in my book.

If I'm going to live with someone, they best participate in chores and things be equal. What you have in your pants doesn't make a hill of beans difference. Dishes are dishes, garbage is garbage, cleaning a tub is just that - he won't be any less of a man for doing it.

This probably explains one of the reasons I'm perpetually single. Nonetheless, I'm not going to be someone's mom/maid for the sole sake of having company.

But of course you are perfect, we knew that silly

[esther231]

I'm getting entirely different picture from what you are saying.

Sounds like both of you are under a ton of stress. (two jobs - long hours - your avatar says you have young kids) Your DH sounds depressed to me more than anything. And you sound like you need a break.

You can't fix him. He's gotta do that himself.

But you can fix you. Take the break. Take a day or two off of work to just do stuff you like. Take a night or a Saturday off from the house with a friend who makes you laugh.

Then see how it looks.

One thing is for sure, if you try to fix this stuff when you are already angry about it, you probably do more damage than good. If you try to fix it when you're a good space, it's alittle easier to work on.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

It seems to me that things are not reasonable at all in this situation.
I think you need to talk seriously- preferably with a third party present who has professional experience with mediating and working through couples' problems together.

[iFKA]

You can't fix him. He's gotta do that himself.

But you can fix you. Take the break. Take a day or two off of work to just do stuff you like. Take a night or a Saturday off from the house with a friend who makes you laugh. .

Totally agree with ester... I'm not married but I'm living with my boyfriend almost a year and here how it goes...

He loves me very much but he's not guy who knows how to say it. "Love you" out of his mouth is a shock for my organism and I miss that cause I'm the youngest child so I received nice words and attention all my life. On the other hand every once in a while he surprises me with flowers or with little gifts or something like that that tells me how much he loves me.

It's important to look the better side. We all have flaws. I can also see he's lovin' me when I have PMS, he tolerates my naggin' and all other pms side affects.

And about socks... As far as he's concern they can be in the livin' room until the more than 10 flies come. It possible that he'd react after 10th fly. But we found compromise cause it's quite degrading for me to carry his dirty socks to dirty laundry room. We bought one little part of furniture (we call it tabure... people usually relax their legs on it when they're sittin' in a armchair) ... that has inner department that no one can notice so he puts his socks in it and when I'm washing laundry I take it out of that compartment. It's not worth it to argue about silly things like that.

Also, when I'm learning (one week before my exam) the house is dreadful but I don't care. When I'm not learning in that period I'm relaxing cause my brain needs some rest and I'm not even tryin' to clean all day and after that learning again. No way...

[limewave]

Okay, now I feel bad because everyone thinks DH is a jerk, and he's really not bad. But he does have his days. I'd go on about his knight-in-shining armor moments but the pooper is crying at my feet. She has a cold . . .

[mimitabby]

that hand thing reallly put people off. What's up with that? but i understand.
My husband has done some things... embarrassed me in front of my friends..
po'ed my sister beyond repair (I think)

but he makes up with it in other ways.

[esther231]

My thought was that it sounded worse than it is or she would have knocked his block off a long time ago.

One way to handle it, if it's getting on her nerves - cause stuff that doesn't annoy you at first can really annoy you later - might be with a sense of humor instead of anger.

If my DH did that more than once, I would call him space man when I needed to ask him for help or whatever. Just takes the charge out of it. And hopefully will make him laugh at himself a bit instead of immediately jump to defend himself.

Lime, all men are a bit strange if you ask me. They just don't think like we do. And they never will. So, your DH has nothing on my DH. I could write a book about the things he does that annoy me to death.

But I still would walk 20 miles to be near him if need be. (complaining all the way)