The Naming of Bikes

[KnottedYet]

The Naming of Bikes

(with apologies to T.S. Eliot "The Naming of Cats")

The naming of bikes is a difficult matter
It isn't just one of your long-commute games
You may think at first I'm as mad as a hatter
When I tell you a bike must have three different names.
First of all there's the name that the riders use daily
Such as Juju or Oscar, Miz Cakes or Flames
Such as Blue Streak, Green Hornet, Stink or Go-Gaily
All of them sensible bicycle names.
There are fancier names if you think they sound faster
Some for the components, some for the frames
Such as Zephyr, Flosshilde, Hermes and Blaster
But all of them sensible everyday names.
But I tell you a bike needs a name that's particular
A name that's quite unique, and more dignified
Else how can it keep its head tube perpendicular
Or spread out its handlebars, or cherish its pride?
Of names of this kind I can give you a pannier
Such as Shimaluupp, Quaxo, or Serracopyke
Such as Campalorina or else Jerrafloyer
Names that NEVER belong to more than one bike.
But above and beyond ther's still one name left over
And that is the name that you never will guess
The name that no human research can discover -
But the bike itself knows and will never confess.
When you notice a bike in profound meditation
The reason I tell you is always the same:
Its gears are engaged in a rapt contemplation
Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of its name.
Its ever so pedal-able
Sleek and incredible
Deep and inscrutable singular Name.