Personal clutter demons (long)

[SlowButSteady]

My home (and office) are suffering. And it's driving me nuts...has been for years.

Everything is so cluttered. I have difficulty throwing things away and organizing my living space. We do have "open floor space" so we can walk through out house without having to hack a trail with a machete, but all horizontal surfaces are a mess. The dining room, well, we can't walk in there.

I have gone as far as to organize old clothes into bags--three each for men, ladies and boys clothing. Into one I put tops, another bottoms and another misc. Some of these things are new w/ tags and never worn. Some are designer names.

I have cd's, dvd's, all kinds of papers. Old electronics and small appliances. And books. Way too many books, and this with me bagging up a huge sackful of paperbacks about twice a year and donating them to Friends of the Library.

I have bought 3 books on conquering clutter and usually can't find them...because of all the clutter. My husband never throws anything away either and gets mad when I suggest we do something about this problem. He and my son are both slobs. I'm so stressed about it that I hardly ever go into their man cave any more. If we pared down our home/barn/possessions, we would possibly remove tons of stuff.

In the past I've donated items to the local Goodwill or Hospice stores. Get a receipt for my taxes (and promptly misplace it in the clutter). We don't have a local consignment store. Nearest city w/ upscale resale type stores is close to an hour away (in other words, too time-consuming to be worth it).

Has anyone here had experience w/ selling things on ebay or other on line resources such as craigslist? Is that more time-consuming than I need to fool with? Would it be possible to find an ebay seller who would be willing to do all the work and give me a cut? How?

Does anyone have any suggestions on what to do? I think my SIL is going to come in 2 weeks to help with a purge

[Cataboo]

Periodically I do a clearance and set things aside to sell on ebay or craigslist... It really isn't that bad for the money you get. Just take a picture of everything and ebay has software called turbo lister that lets you create listings offline, and you can just duplicate listings, etc.

That being said, I've got a box full of stuff I've been procrastinating on.

As for clutter... I have a tendancy to clutter. It makes me feel better making sure that i have a certain number of rooms clutter free - so my upstairs I try to keep clutter free, and I can make all the mess I want downstairs...

I did recently buy a huge filing cabinet off craigslist... all my papers are currently in there, but I cannot claim that they are in any sort of order. that is for another time.

[sfa]

Keeping organized is a work in progress for me. Five or six years ago I realized that the methods in organizing books simply would not work for me--they are designed by people who are sensors, not intuiters (for anyone who goes by Myers-Briggs). In other words--those organizing systems work great for people who are organized. So I came up with my own "good enough" method of keeping the house relatively under control, while also realizing that I'll never have a home that looks like something in a magazine (and honestly, I wouldn't want it that way--anyone with lots of hobbies and interests is going to have clutter).

Number one rule for me: if it's too complicated to follow, I won't follow it. So I made simple rules--I open my mail above the recycling and dump all of the junk and catalogs into there immediately, then throw bills in a box next to the computer, and anything else goes in front of my place at the dining room table. I "file" bills and important papers by year, and that's it--I pile everything up for a year then stuff it all in a box, put the year on it and stow it in the attic. If I should ever really NEED something, I'd be able to find it. After seven years, I can toss the whole box. I tried to organize papers by type, but that only lasted about a month before I gave up. I'm a piler, not a filer, so this works for me. Same thing with papers coming home from school--each child gets a pile in the dining room and at the end of the year I keep the best stuff, box it up, and throw out everything else.

Other clutter: whenever anyone calls asking for donations of household goods or old clothes, I always say yes. Then I go around the house the night before they are due to pick stuff up and I put together a couple of boxes of things to give away. There are three places that call for donations regularly, and they each call about four times a year. This got rid of all of the old clothes, toys, household appliances, etc. over the course of a few years (oh, and the receipt goes in the box with the bills next to the computer, which is my dumping ground for anything I might need like that) You could probably get the same effect by eBaying it all on some kind of schedule. Don't think about it too much--just do it.

Books are my biggest problem, and so far I'm just not doing anything about it. I tried once to go through my shelves and get rid of books, but I only managed to eliminate about a dozen. DH went through his a couple of months ago and decided he was just going to get rid of 25% of his books, and he did! So now there's more space on the shelves for my stuff.

My house is still pretty messy, but not so messy that we can't spend a day going nuts cleaning it to the point where we're happy to have company over. There will always be piles of things in corners, and piles on the dresser, and piles on the desk by the front door, but they are at least relatively recent piles and a sign that real people live in this house, not magazine people with no hobbies!

Sarah

[Irulan]

One word: FLYLADY

www.flylady.com

You can take what you want and leave the rest ---but their system for eliminating clutter, and LEARNING HOW TO NOT CREATE MORE CLUTTER is totally awesome.

If you can get past the cutesy-ness of the program, it is really worthwhile to get the email reminders for a minimum of one month, and learn some of the new ideas.

They really target those of us who are overwhelmed by our clutter; or don't even know where to be begin when trying to get rid of things; they acknowledge the emotional aspects of clutter and give tips for that...

29 item flings rule.

I found this system very very helpful. It gives you really small chunks of things to do so it's not overwhelming at all. I really like this, as compared to the weekend long purge that leaves us exhausted emotionally and physically.

I give a thumbs down to craig's list or Ebay. Why? Getting things ready to go on sale or waiting to get the right price is just another excuse to keep it hanging around. One of the things I learned from Flylady it to either Goodwill it, or throw it away. And don't keep those Goodwill bags hanging around either.

[HappyTexasMom]

One word: FLYLADY

www.flylady.com

+1

We've loosely followed Flylady on and off for years now. Our house is not where I would want it to be, but it's better than it was, and without Flylady it would have been worse instead of better.

For me a huge thing is dealing with things as they come in, as I'm bad about putting stuff to the side "for later". I'm far from perfect at it, but a lot of crap that comes through the door gets circumvented (junk mail, and wrappings from things we buy comes to mind).

[Grits]

There are shipping places here (Ship On Site) that will list things on e-bay for you. They will take the picture, post it, help you price it, and handle the sale and shipping for you. There is probably something similar where you are.

Something I have found helpful is to try not to tackle it all at once. Make a goal to do one thing a day. Tomorrow you could take the bags of clothes to Goodwill or some other charity. Or take the designer clothes to a consignment shop. Sometimes I end up giving stuff away just because of the hassle factor of selling it, and I need to get it out of the house!

[sarahspins]

Craigslist can be easy, or it can be exceptionally frustrating.. for me it's hit or miss. I've had some things sell within minutes that I thought would be a chore to get rid of, and other stuff that just won't budge no matter what.

Of course the people who contact you are a mixed lot.. that's for sure. Some are total flakes

It's free and very easy to add things for sale though... which is a HUGE benefit over places like ebay.

[tulip]

++1 on Flylady. It's helped me alot, and I only do the very basics. Granted, I got divorced and moved, and moved very little stuff with me. It's LIBERATING to not have so much stuff--something to keep in mind when you are tempted to buy things.

My first rule is to be VERY careful about bringing stuff in the house in the first place. I hate shopping, so that helps already. But really think before you add stuff.

My issue is with mail. I bring it in and let it pile up, sometimes for a week. My solution is to log it in a notebook. That way, I have to acknowledge what I receive, who it's from, and what I did with it (file, respond, bill). It's helped me deal with it right away.

Ebay could work, but it sounds like an awful lot of hassle to me! And then you have to find the item when it sells...which might not be so easy unless you are organized...which if you were, you wouldn't need to be selling things on ebay to start with!

Check out Flylady, and remember that you don't have to do everything at once. And you don't have to be perfect.

[channlluv]

+1 on Flylady

I did it for a while until I couldn't handle the volume of email anymore. My house is still pretty cluttered - it was hard to fit in all that daily maintenance cleaning in with the three part-time jobs and child's after school activity schedule.

The one thing I picked up from Flylady, though: If it's not blessing you, let it bless someone else.

That one statement awoke my inner Altruist and made it so much easier to let go of clothes, furnishings, baby gear, dishes, kitchen gadgets, and over a decade of accumulated stuff. I took eleven pick-up truck loads of stuff to the local battered women's shelter. They help women start lives anew, and I had some pretty good stuff that could make it easier.

My mother cringes when she thinks of me giving away what was probably tens of thousands of dollars' worth of stuff - she's a total packrat collector - but man, it was so freeing.

I realized how anchored we are by material things. Or how much I was anyway.

If it's not blessing you or your family, let it bless someone else, and then don't think about it again.

Regarding the paper, yeah, I open my mail over the recycling bin, too. I've also moved most of my bill paying online. I don't get a whole lot of paper mail anymore that really requires my attention.

Roxy

[Trek420]

I'm awful at house cleaning but pretty good with clutter.

All rooms have an "out box" which gradually moves downstairs and into the box by the door. Anytime I'll be going by Goodwill, Magic Johnson Thrift store, American Cancer Society Thrift Store, Habitat for Humanity ..... the trunk gets filled.

I keep a list of what I donated.

Turbotax has a system that will calculate the value of items donated. Clearing the home ahead of the remodel and getting ready to move I donate a lot. It helps around tax time and if the items help someone else and a charity it's good.

[Zen]

I'm selling my house. I've got a boatload of stuff to go to the thrift shop. my realtor wants me to have a moving sale but I can't be bothered and would just as soon give things away.
I will probably get rid of more stuff out of the "keep" pile before I move.

My ex was a huge pack rat and it was disgusting. It's nice to be able to know where things are.

Will check out the flylady.

[Irulan]

dealing with clutter starts with why you hold on to stuff. You can Craig's list and Ebay all you want, but if you don't deal with how it got there in the first place, you won't get any traction at all. However you got it ( garage sales, hoarding, just-in-case, I'll need it someday etc) is what you have to deal with, or you'll be back here next year with a whole new pile of stuff that you'll be wondering how to get rid of.

[ShubieGA]

The clutter gets overwhelming for me too. It kept me from having people over, etc. Once I had to pack everything for a move, I either tossed, donated or gave away alot via freecycle (www.freecycle.org). Since moving, I have really been trying to keep up the cleaner look. I have friends over more often to re-enforce it. I have a a stack of boxes that I have not unpacked yet (occupying a section of the garage), and am finding I need less of what I brought along. With freecycle, you belong to an e-mail group in your area (hopefully possible in your location), and you post items to get rid of. Those interested, reply back, and arrange a time to pick up. I got my moving boxes free this way, and was able to provide others household items that were usable and needed by them, furniture included. And I too do not pass up the calls for charity pickups. It has helped! Good luck!

[shootingstar]

I took eleven pick-up truck loads of stuff to the local battered women's shelter. They help women start lives anew, and I had some pretty good stuff that could make it easier.

My mother cringes when she thinks of me giving away what was probably tens of thousands of dollars' worth of stuff - she's a total packrat collector - but man, it was so freeing.

I realized how anchored we are by material things. Or how much I was anyway.

If it's not blessing you or your family, let it bless someone else, and then don't think about it again. Roxy

11 truckloads of donated stuff --wow. And you weren't moving households?

I'm probably due for some material purging. When I moved from Toronto to Vancouver, I did sell off 40 books to other employees for $1 each. Gave away another 50 to a fundraising book sale for one of the church colleges.

Donated several bags of brand new fabric ends to a women's shelter/support service. I did used to sew and accumulated an extra box of brand new uncut fabric.

We no longer buy any knicknacks for home. Admittedly I vaguely cringe when we get one for a gift from others. We have more artwork than you can imagine, stuff he and I have bought from artists, paintings I've done and what his daughter had done in past few years and given to him as gifts. He won't throw it out..for obvious sentimental reasons, even though some of it I know she would write off by now, as purely experimental. I have discarded some of my own artwork..which confounds some family members.

And I have a ton of art supplies. I know for certain to whom I could give some of the stuff as well-appreciated gifts that would be used properly. But I'm hoarding the stuff since I know Muse attacks me at unexpected times in life.

In Canada, our tax laws don't allow claiming this type of hand-me down goods to charities for our personal tax saving purposes. So latter is not a motivator when we donate used personal goods.

He is neat but now it's problematic since he started up his own business. That requires some paperwork that must be kept even though he's highly disciplined going electronic as far as he can....which means more computer peripherals crowding about.

[Grog]

I was having similar thoughts yesterday. I find our clutter oppressive.

By the sound of it, our apartment is not nearly as cluttered as what you describe, but the closets hide a lot of stuff (in a not-so-organized way) and tackling it will take time. (And I won't even get started about my closet-full of stuff at my parents' house, 5000 km from here, which raises a whole other set of emotions and issues.)

I don't want to move into a bigger place/condo/house in the future and carry that stuff. Yet there are certain things we do "need" or could need, and do not want to buy again ($$).

I also don't bother selling things too much. It just makes me procrastinate. I have freecycled things, which was quick and painless: ski boots, a teapot, etc. Thanks to Emily_in_NC I now know about Bookmooch, and have "mooched" away a (small) number of books that I was positive I will never want to read again. I actually PAY money (for shipping) to get rid of things, and it makes me feel GOOD! This is the concept that 1-800-Got-Junk is based on: http://www.1800gotjunk.com/us_en/wha..._we_price.aspx

I agree with others that the key rule is to check VERY closely what comes into the house. The corresponding rule is to get one thing OUT for each thing that comes IN. I do not 100% live by this yet, but I've made some progress, in particular with clothing.

I'll look at Flylady as a preventive measure. I know I'm going to have to buy lots of clothes soon (finishing grad school) and I want to control the process more closely I'm afraid.