I have decided that I need to talk to the breast surgeon before mid May to answer questions and concerns. I left a message Wednesday, talked to her nurse on Thursday and then when I called back at 11:30 today I got no answer because the office closes at 12:00 on Fridays, and apparently they turn off the phone well before hand. ARGHHH!!!!!

In the meantime I have been researching cancer support groups and have yet to find one locally which is not affiliated with a church. No that I am against anybody's religion, I just would prefer a more rational and objective type group that is not trying to convert me while helping me.

I am also having bad dreams, not nightmares, but definitely anxiety expressing dreams about trying to get through a major household move and not showing up in presurgery on time, or not recovering from surgery and ending up a vegetable.

I know this is all anxiety venting, and that none of this is likely and am trying very hard not to obsess but ..... I don't expect anyone to suggest something, I just needed to vent a little. Ignore this freely as you feel. My new mantra needs to be something like I can get through this, I can do this, I will do this.

just venting and letting things out because there is more room out than in.

thanks for listening.