One BIG apology!

[ClockworkOrange]

Have never been one to suffer from depression but I think recently I have come near it and in all honesty, there is no specific reason.

I have one special friend on this site and after writing to her explaining my lack of communication, her reply just helped made me feel back to normal again. Big hug to Running Mommy

For no reason I have just felt I cannot be bothered with anything or anybody. I even went through my address book and crossed out people who I have know for many years, thinking what's the point, I will never see them again.

Have become a seriously Grumpy Old Woman.

Then there's the weight thing, have this distinct feeling my metabolism has stopped, nothing to do with eating too much or the wrong things

I've never been one to dislike it when my birthday is due, it was fun reaching 40, then 50 BUT...........I am not laughing at reaching 60 in 15 months. Keep having morbid thoughts of how and when I will die...........sheeeeesh, I am becoming really weird.

Then constantly worrying about my son, even when nothing is wrong, he's not even a kid but a man of nearly 33!

BUT...........I love New Years Day and it is nearly here, New Year and time to look forward.

Hmmmmm, bet you are wondering what the apology fingie is about. Well, I put my name down for sending Christmas cards and yes, could not be bothered, how bad is that.

Then realised it was too late, however, I have just (with a lot of help from my BF), made some New Year cards so I hope that makes up for not sending Christmas cards.

Wishing you all a very happy Christmas from England.

This site is great, I have not been on here for a while but directly I sign on and check out the threads, I feel at home.

Clock

[snapdragen]

Happy New Year back at you clock! I understand perfectly where you are coming from, right now I'd like nothing better than to cancel Christmas. I won't go into details, just want you to know you're not alone!

[Zen]

Awww, Clock. Believe it or not, I think of you often. I still get a kick out of the card you sent out last year. There are many people on here I'll probably never meet but I still like to think of them as my friends.

Since my mother died I don't even do christmas anymore which is really a great big relief. I did go christmas shopping, the only difference this year is all the gifts were for me

Take yourself christmas shopping, start planning next years charity ride and remember you have friends here who only want the best for you.

[Mr. Bloom]

Hang tough! The days start getting longer this week and that might help a little.

Depression is nothing to apologize for or to be embarrassed about.

[shootingstar]

Glad you're looking forward to New Year's, orange. Hope to see more of you around the TE watercooler.

[Aggie_Ama]

((Clock)) Thanks for checking in and no apologies for the evil depression. I have gone through it and was too ashamed to admit it. It is awful, glad you are looking ahead to brighter days.

I normally love Christmas but this year I am scrooge to the max! I have tried to do fun things like decorate, go on a Holiday Wine Trail but dang I just want to fast forward to New Years Day. Eat a big ol' bowl of Black Eyed Peas and look forward to a new year.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Good to hear from you, Clock.
It sounds like you've had a hard year. You are not alone, many people have been experiencing a particularly awful year.
I do hope that if your depression does not go away on its own soon that you seek some professional help, since depression is very treatable and you have every right to feel normal and happy again.
I agree with you, putting this past year behind and looking forward to changes and new beginnings in the coming year is a good attitude.
Here's to a good new year for all TE members that are experiencing difficult times right now.

[LBTC]

Clock, here are some very bright and special butterflies to lift your spirits.

Many hugs,
~T~

[Selkie]

You were missed but you're back now which is what matters.

The rough spots in life are just temporary and make us appreciate the good times.

Sending good karma your way - Happy New Year.

[crazycanuck]

Clock, you're here with us & that's what matters. Don't fret about not sending cards out..i am sending new years type cards when we get back to Perth .

Have a wonderful holiday & don't forget to take care of yourself!

C

[OakLeaf]

(((((Clock)))))

wanna know a secret? DH and I haven't sent cards in two years and depression is the reason... we're really TRYING to send them this year.

I wasn't on the card exchange - but don't be hard on yourself. Welcome back.

[bmccasland]

Hey Clock,
I thought of you when I went with a friend to our favorite Mom&Pop Ice Cream Parlor - they had a flavor of ice cream called Clock Work Orange! (I didn't have any though, don't really like the combo of chocholate and orange) So you're famous in New Orleans, you have a flavor of ice cream named after you!!! Aren't you thrilled! Glad you're back.

[ClockworkOrange]

Hey, you made me

Every single post was so good to read, it really was very kind of people to even bother.

Then I got home this evening and had three cards from the other side of the world!........postmarks where San Jose, NY and VA. I didn't tear them open like I usually do, I waited until I sat down at dinner. Isn't it strange how something as small as a card from a relative stranger can make you smile and feel all happy?

I was so pleased I got my act together last night and got my New Year cards all finished AND posted today.

Maybe somebody can answer why I feel so much better, being able to share how I have been feeling. I actually feel I am getting back to the old me?

Cheers all.

Clock

PS I had a cake made (below) for some friends I had made via the internet, when I did my London Bikeathon earlier this year. This cake is also relevant to this site. You can even see were the candles where.

[solobiker]

Hang in there Clock. I too have been in a funk so to speak and have worked very hard to dig my way up and out of it. Just know you have my support 100% of the way.

[snapdragen]

Then I got home this evening and had three cards from the other side of the world!........postmarks where San Jose, NY and VA.

San Jose?! What kind of freak lives in San Jose!

Maybe somebody can answer why I feel so much better, being able to share how I have been feeling. I actually feel I am getting back to the old me?

Sometimes just acknowledging that you feel bad, helps you to snap out of it.