Yah, well, seems my subconscious wanted to take revenge. I noted down that I was meeting her for a birthday lunch tomorrow - and it was today...
- not sure which emoticon I should put here, to be honest. Why not a sample:
:o :( :confused: :rolleyes:
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Yah, well, seems my subconscious wanted to take revenge. I noted down that I was meeting her for a birthday lunch tomorrow - and it was today...
- not sure which emoticon I should put here, to be honest. Why not a sample:
:o :( :confused: :rolleyes:
Dear people upstairs--
SHUT UP. This is an old building, and it's not as well-insulated, soundwise, as we'd both like it to be. That said, your tramping around on the wood floors upstairs at all hours and yelling is not appreciated. Nor is your bringing all your equally loud friends over. Don't make me come up there.
Dear Terry Pro-Deal People,
So what's the deal with putting only XS and XXXL products on sale? Getting rid of the dregs of your inventory? This Medium won't bother with you anymore, since I never buy full-price and you're not offering anything that I can fit into on sale. Not a good way to build up a customer base.
Thank you honey for an incredible weekend camping. We spent time with good friends, laughing until we had tears running, fishing, cooking on our little pop can stove, warming by the campfire, looking at the sky full of stars and gasping at the beauty around us. What a wonderful life we have together. :D
Dear ******* Moms who brought your children to the one decent spot to fish from in that entire area (there was a beach access just 400yds away, btw) and let them throw rocks in, jump in the water, all while you just looked past us both as you loaded all of your stuff on our already occupied picnic table. Your bad manners aside, we simply packed up, left you behind and still had a nice quiet lunch sitting up on a boulder overlooking the park.
You are sooooooo lucky that your minivan still has air in it's tires, though. :rolleyes:
Dear puppies,
Please either go home or let me catch you so I can take you home. I really don't want to call the dog warden. :(
Dear stupid dog walker: Your dog does not need a 10 metre dog lead, nor does said lead need to be stretched across the bike path. Fido will quite happily walk on a 2 metre lead, one which will be far easier to use to control said Fido. After many bell rings, you decided to reel Fido in, then when I swerved to the other side of the path (because Fido was still all over the bloody path), you said indignantly "he's only small!", as if Fido's size would make any difference to Fido's condition after being taken out by a bicycle. I wasn't swerving to avoid Fido because I'm frightened of dogs! I was avoiding Fido because you are too fragging stupid to control Fido and keep him separated from other path users. Fido will inevitably be run over by some poor cyclist in the future, and you, in your addled state, will not see that it could've been prevented.
Dear idiotic woman at the train station: I was absolutely shagged after my Mt Coot-Tha failure, and all I wanted was to get on the fragging lift and up to the platform where my train awaited. Instead of controlling your children (for the record, I was ahead of you in line), you let them push into the line ahead of me, where they then proceeded to gaggle around the lift button, preventing me from pushing it. And so, the lift stayed up at the platform, empty. Moments later, I heard the sound of my train departing. Without me. Screw you for not controlling your kids and for making me miss my train. The only good part about this story is that it was also your train, and so you got to spend half an hour on the freezing cold platform with your uncontrollable little miscreants. Sucked in. I, on the other hand, caught another train, which took me 15Km out of my way, but hey.. I enjoyed the ride. Did you enjoy the cold train station? I hope so.
Dear everybody else on the ride home: I've never encountered so many nice people on the paths as I did today. You all made the ride home that much nicer. So much so that I almost forgot about Fido and the train station incidents.
Oh, one more thing - dear Mr Philippines, the cyclist I encountered near Alderley on my way to Mt Coot-Tha. You were nice to ride with, and I enjoyed chatting with you. I hope we cross paths again.
Max
Dear Graduate Program Head,
You are a mysoginist and small minded. My thesis will be a groundbreaking annalysis of gender, race, and nationalism regardless of your fears that I am too much of a feminsit. BTW, your repeated use of the phrase "too tied to feminism" just tells me you have no idea what your talking about. Did your PhD come from a cereal box?
K.
Dear Out-of-Towners,
I know that we have a fabulous network of trails up here in the cool pines and that it is over a 100 in the deserts right now. Nonetheless it is called trail ettiquate. How would you like it if come February I come down to your trails and act like an a**hole?
K.
(OH, I feel better now.)
Dear Clueless Woman at the Day Spa:
I know you are so involved with your precious children that you couldn't have possibly read the sign that says "no cell phones" in the manicure/pedicure room. I was having a relaxing foot massage in preparation for my son's wedding, when you appeared, nosily interjecting yourself into the conversation between myself and the woman who does my nails, as we discussed cycling.
Why does your kid and other various relatives have to call you five times in a half hour? And laughing at it, stating "Oh, I thought I turned it off," wasn't funny. I felt bad for the woman doing your nails, who was too wimpy to say something to you.
Thanks. You ruined what is usually a pleasant experience that I don't do very often.
Dear Mother
you absolutely drive me crazy.
I call you on the phone to be friendly and you scold me because
MY son (who is 31 years old) hasn't written back to your request for a housesitter?
and when I explained to you that I had already explained to you in an email
why he has not answered you (which HONESTLY I HAVE NO IDEA - he doesn't live with me OR tell me why he doesn't answer emails!!!)
you told me I DID NOT.... Now just because YOU haven't checked YOUR email does not give you the right of accusing ME of not responding.
then you write me another email calling me rude and Beyitchy for being abrupt in trying to escape the tonguelashing....
Unfortunately, half the time, this is how our conversations go. I cannot get along with my own mother. SIGH....
I feel your pain, Mimi.
Karen
Dear BF:
Sometimes, it is very difficult to say goodnight and put the phone down. I miss you.:(
Dear labs:
Would one of you like to hire me? I have prior lab experience. This is something I want to do. Please read my resume. (And do it sooner rather than later, please. I have rent that needs to be paid...)
Dear nice bike company,
Where is my bike? I know it's been sent but umm...where is it?
Dear Mother:
I do not appreciate starting my day by having you whine at me during the entire 45 minute drive to work. I do not like to start my day on a down note. Since it's the only time you have to "talk" (since ever other time I try to call you you hang up on me for a "more important" phone call), I try to accommodate you. But I might start turning off my cell phone in the mornings.
The damsel in distress act doesn't work anymore. You are nearly 60. You are college educated. You have had someone pay off your mountain of credit card debt for you. Twice. I'm sorry you're there again, but it's not my problem and I'm pretty sure no one is going to bail you out this time. I'm sorry that typing is *so* hard and that you're going to have to pay someone to do it for you, but I'm not volunteering my little free time. I'm also sorry that you're going to have to find a "moronic five year old" to help you with your computer. I've tried to help you for hours and hours. If you would have listened, instead of telling me how to live my live, we might have made more progress.
If you're going to run a business, you can't rely on the free help of friends and family for years and years. 7 years is long enough. You should be able to answer a question of what sales volume it would take to make your business profitable instead of whining about a (pretty good) review someone wrote about you 2 years ago - which is now the "sole reason" your business is failing. Asking me for ideas for how to make it work is probably not the best idea after I gave you lots of ideas that you ignored because "you didn't know how to implement them" and "figuring out shipping rates was too hard."
I'm sorry that it's *so* hard to commute 45 minutes and work an 8 hour day. That's what I've been doing for - oh - about 7 years. You should count yourself lucky that you have a day job instead of complaining about the time, your 30 minute lunch that "just isn't long enough" and that "your life is over" because you have to work. Considering quitting the day job and going back to said business is probably not a good idea. But hey - it's your life.
Grow up,
Your daughter who is going to quit being the mom
Dear Grandma:
I love you, but I really need for you to stop facilitating the above behavior. I could also do without the lectures about how my mom just "needs to talk" and "I should let her" because her life is "so hard" and you "feel sorry for her." I wonder if this could be part of the problem?
Your granddaughter who still loves you, but wishes you would stay out of certain relationships
Dear BlueberryQuote:
Originally Posted by Blueberry
Maybe I can hook your mother up with my mother. My mother tries to fix her own computer sometimes with disastrous results. Sometimes maybe not. Who knows?!
What's up with mothers anyway? I mean, I AM one.
sigh...
CC, I hope your bike comes soon. it's been a LONG LONG LONG time coming.
To Whom it May Concern:
Thank you SO MUCH for a mom that was loving and supportive. I just wished she would have lived passed 42. I know we would have been great friends as adults.
I'm sorry, Mimi and Blueberry. Mom's should be better at 'mom stuff.'
Dear Stepmother (staying in the mother drift!),
Thank you for everything you've done for my father. I know he would have died long ago if not for your constant and diligent care. The news of your health problems is really worrying me. I don't know what he or I would do without you. I have faith that your love of life will help you overcome all of this, but I'm still worried about you.
Your Wicked Step Daughter ;)
Dear Mimi and Blueberry,
(((HUGS to you both)))
Hey Mimi, your Mom sounds just like Kit's Mom. Are you sure they aren't related? :p
My Mom has been great. I've been lucky. :)
Dear upstairs neighbors--
TURN YOUR MUSIC DOWN. I should not be able to pick out the lyrics.
Dear puppies (again),
Here's the deal. There aren't many places in the USA where dogs can get away with being wild, and this isn't one of them. I've tried my darndest to get you to trust me enough to catch you. I've found the guy who owns your mother, and he's done everything he can do to catch you, too. He's mentioned calling the dog warden. The fact that he didn't socialize you from birth gives you an idea of how much he cares about you, so if I have to call the dog warden, I don't expect he's going to pay the money and go through the process to get you out. And, if you go there and don't let anyone touch you, they're going to decide pretty quickly that you're not adoptable.
I can't have wild dogs living under my shrubbery. You've got until Friday to get in the trap or let me, my husband or your owner catch you. After that I'm calling the dog warden.
Signed,
Heartbroken
and while we're at it....Quote:
Originally Posted by Owlie
next door neighbor, did you know that when you leave your dog barks NONSTOP until you return? Of course I can't complain to the landlord, your father, because since my daughter needed to move in I have 2 dogs when the lease only says I can have one. My daughter's dog barks EVERY time you slam the door, which you do EVERY time you close it. He also barks every time you sound like you're crashing down the stairs, which I'm sure is every time you go either up or down the stairs.
So while I'm in no position to complain, I sure wish I had a more considerate neighbor. I'm pretty sure it's my rent check that pays the mortgage on this place which was empty for quite a while before we moved in.
I won't even start on how early you feel the need to mow every Saturday morning......
Dear V.Q.G.
Thank you so much for your thoughtful consideration of the situation. I know you need to do what's best for your bottom line, but your decision will either save or kill 14 years of hard work so I ask that you take that into consideration when making your decision. I know you'll do what you think is right, so thank you in advance for making a decision that will benefit everyone.
Dear guy in the pick up truck yakking on the cell phone. I really did not need to see you kill that poor little dog. If you had been %^&*# paying attention to driving you would not have hit him. I was behind you and had plenty of time to see what was happening. What if next time its a little kid that runs out into the street instead of a little dog. Hang up and pay attention or get out from behind the wheel.
Dear famous surgeon,
We traveled 7 hours each way for this 3-month post-surgical check-up, and incurred hotel expenses as well. We were on time for our 10:30 appointment. Making us wait two-and-a-half hours in the waiting room, another 45 min in the exam room, and then breezing in for a 2 minute "fly-by" visit without even an apology for the long wait is very annoying. I know you're considered one of the "gods" who invented this procedure, and that you probably got stuck in the OR, and we are truly grateful for the good outcome of our child's surgery, but some acknowledgement of the value of our time would have been appreciated. We probably could have phoned this one in and saved ourselves a lot of time and money.
holy cow. I hope you complained somewhere else.Quote:
Originally Posted by BikeDutchess
Oh Eden :(
I was clearing out some files at work (yes, I did have better things to do, but we were alle ordered to) and came across the following little gem I wrote back in 2001. I'm tooting my own horn here, but I found it pretty darn funny :D
It's in reply to a snotty note from the publishers of a computer magazine ("CM"):
"Re: unpaid CM subscription
In a letter dated Feb. 26th, you refer to our "delinquent account", as you call it, as we haven't paid for our subscription yet. You also write: "When you ordered CM, we accepted your word that you would pay your bill." I might point out that when we ordered CM, we accepted your word that you would actually deliver the magazine. So far we have not received a single regular issue, and your threat of not sending any more issues is hardly alarming.
What we have received is the trial issue we ordered last November. After two follow-up emails. In January. I presume that the point of a trial issue is to let readers decide whether or not they want a continued subscription. Sending no less than two requests for payment before the trial issue has even arrived is a bit excessive. Your claiming that you have sent four unanswered requests for payment when we in fact have emailed you twice, is downright annoying.
In spite of all this, we do actually want a subscription for CM. As we wrote to you in December, we will pay the bill in full as soon as we receive our first regular, somewhat current issue."
Dear Co-Workers,
Yes I know when someone takes vacation you have to do extra work. Yes I know it sucks. We all do it and we all make it, don't make people feel like crud because they are taking a well deserved vacation. I did your work when you took a week off so don't complain for a month before my week off it just makes you look like a self centered brat!
Thanks,
A Willing Team Player
In other words, "this is how it is. Deal with it" and be thankful you have a job
Dear PNW office,
Would you please make the notifications.... the waiting to know if I got the job or not is maddening. Do I get ready for hurricane season or get ready to move? :confused:
Yeah, I know it's already hurricane season, AND there's a system in the Gulf, but the weather prognosticators say it isn't a big deal - except to the ships sucking oil from the Deepwater Horizon Disaster.
So come monday, a decision, OK? :(:)
Dear _____,
If you wanted to have dinner with your teamates, SAY SO IN THE FIRST PLACE. Don't agree to have dinner with me, then go all Hmmm and huuuh and then tell me you'd like a post race nap and can we please cancel dinner. And then I DON'T DARE CALL YOU BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO DISTURB YOUR POST RACE NAP AND LOOK LIKE AN ******* and it turns out, you FINALLY call me and YOU'RE HAVING DINNER WITH YOUR TEAMATES. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I'M DOING THIS ANY MORE BECAUSE THIS ISN'T EVEN THE FIRST TIME.
Me.
(Excuse the caps.)
Also:
Dear best friend,
I wish you were home. I miss talking to you on the phone and being able to just go out with you. BBM, twitter and skype doesn't make being on a completely different continent from you any less hard.
Dear BF--
You have no idea how much I was looking forward to seeing you next weekend...okay, I think you do. I'm sorry it can't happen and neither of us can do anything about it. (Does your boss just hate the idea of your wanting to take time off? This happened last time too.) Just survive the next month and a bit. You'll be back here before you know it.
Love,
Me.
Dear impatient driver--
Okay, so a bunch of kids tried to make an ill-advised and ill-timed street crossing. No, I was not about to start trying to move. Honking at me and the kids and then trying to cut me off on the other side of the intersection is not the correct response to the situation. You may have gotten your precious hot dogs ten seconds sooner, but you're still an a**.
Dear certain manufacturer of cycling shoes--
Apparently I'm some kind of freak. (Okay, we knew that, but not for this reason.) I actually want to put SPD pedals on a road bike? Shame on me! Maybe I want some quality, breathable road shoes one day. I don't think this should require me to buy new pedals. Telling me to go buy mountain shoes is not useful. Is it too difficult to make adaptors for your newer soles? I'm not going hiking around in the wilderness here. I don't need the testosterone-driven chunkiness of your MTB shoes that has managed to translate to its women's equivalent. The only ones that look as sleek as your road shoes are (surprise!) only available in men's. Know what? Screw you. I'm going to take my freak-heretic self and my cash and go buy myself some Keens. You clearly don't want the likes of me tarnishing the reputation of your shoes of Teh Awesome, so I clearly don't need to justify the existence of your line of MTB shoes.
--Someone who would have gladly bought your ridiculously expensive shoes had they worked with her pedals.
Dear Body,
Please reconsider your new policy of an Annual Major Health Event. Three years in a row is quite enough.
Thank you
Me
I would like to second this motion -- I was joking about the surgery once a year hobby. :(Quote:
Originally Posted by MomOnBike
Listen people in Seattle, are your brains damp? That storm in the Gulf, it's become a Cat 2 hurricane, and come on shore. Am I to assume that I wasn't selected? Would you please just make the notification! Do I suck it up, accept that I'm stuck here with poor leadership, and get ready for hurricane season. Or do I get my house ready to sell? I'm scheduled for vacation starting tomorrow and all of next week - what I do kind of depends on the answer... :confused:
You notified me that the job was open. Can you get your personnel office to make the notifications? Life in limbo is not exactly a fun place to be. :mad:
Come on over if you need to borrow a cup of sugar :rolleyes:Quote:
Originally Posted by bmccasland
grrrr....I agree completely!Quote:
Originally Posted by bmccasland
Dear Secretary Donovan,
Announce your funding decisions already! We're supposed to be on the same team--providing housing for disabled and elderly poor people. But you apparently are getting out of the housing business. Strange, give that's your reason for being. Your arrogance and vapidness are really appalling. I had such high hopes when you were appointed, but you're a real piece of work.
Yours truly,
me
Dear Esteemed People in Washington,
While we're talking about life in limbo....
Would you please renew the Federal Flood Insurance Program? My policy is up for renewal next month. It is hurricane season, and I live in an area that is a flood hazard. I pay for flood insurance, if you'd just send the bill! I do not want to be without flood insurance because you're playing politics. :eek:
Dear toilet--
I have no idea what you're doing, but stop making noises to yourself. It's annoying.
Dear self--
Get your butt back on the bike. I realize the housework needs to be done, and we need food for the week, but still. Get out for at least a little bit every evening (or during the day) this week. Have fun on some of those hills.