will be dumped

[Crankin]

As most of you know, my DH quit his very lucrative job last year. He received a good sum when he left, we were already in the process of downsizing when he did this. Still, I was not happy. I stayed not happy for about 3 months, mostly in subtle ways, then it just became the new normal. He enjoyed his summer riding his bike to the farm and interviewed for all kinds of jobs. It was a hard sell for many to understand why he would work for $xx, when he had made $xxxx before. My DH does not look his age, but obviously, he is older. He interviewed with some people that were younger than our kids. He found a company with a different culture than his previous one, doing a new type of position in his field.
I guess what I am saying, is that looking for a job when you are older is different. I had the privilege of quitting my well paid teaching job, going back to school, and then working in a community mental health clinic. But, for sure, I would not have done that if DH was not earning a good sum. Now, all of my colleagues from grad school, including the other older students, have opened their own practices. I could do this and make 3X the amount, but then I'd have to deal with the business aspect and insurance companies. I just can't do it. Yet, sometimes I feel like I am being taken advantage of, doing the work I do, for less than a lot of jobs that don't require so much education and unpaid internships. In the end, being able to work 3.5 days a week, 2 miles from my house trumps it all. My life is infinitely easier and less stressful. I have a little bit of work I do at home, but it's not like the stress of grading hundreds of writing pieces at night, endless committee meetings, and planning.
You have to decide what you really want. For us, it was being able to travel. I still feel occasionally upset tht DH made this choice, but we will be able to do what we have planned, when we both stop working, which will be in about 4 years for him. Since I am older, I am not sure if I will last that long, as that will put me in my late 60s. My choice now, is to decide if i want maybe work 2 days a week after I turn 65, which will involve one more cycle of renewing my license to practice.

[ny biker]

It was a hard sell for many to understand why he would work for $xx, when he had made $xxxx before. My DH does not look his age, but obviously, he is older. He interviewed with some people that were younger than our kids. He found a company with a different culture than his previous one, doing a new type of position in his field.
I guess what I am saying, is that looking for a job when you are older is different.

This is a major concern for me, as we continue to lurch along at my job with funding cuts and uncertainty regarding the future of application I work on and how much the client wants us to be involved that future. I try to develop new skills, but am overwhelmed by how much there is to learn and not knowing where I should really focus my efforts. It is forcing me to think about what I really want to do. I don't think I will ever be able to afford to retire. I will need a new car in a few years and would like to think about moving to a different condo or townhouse in 5 years or so. But as I look into different aspects of software development, the things that interest me seem to be the things that are not the most lucrative. I don't have a plan yet and may not have one for a while. At the same time that I'm overwhelmed by the variety of things that are out there, I'm also encouraged by that variety.

There are no easy answers. Which makes Rebecca's point all the more important... we must find ways to accept the challenges and work through them.