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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Katy, Texas
    Posts
    1,811

    Today was a good day

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    Our resident FIL died suddenly and unexpectedly early Tuesday morning. He has been living with us for 18 months and been as active a participant in our life as was possible for a 90 year old asthmatic, blind and hard of hearing but still mentally sharp gentleman. He even went to the gym twice a week to work with a trainer.

    Needless to say this week has been fraught for both of us. Phil because it was his father, and his mother died 8 years ago, so now we have both lost both parents, me because I was the 24/7 primary caregiver. We have gotten through the bulk of the notifications, legal stuff and arrangements so now it is a bit of hurry up and wait while various wheels turn finally.

    Today the SAG guy and I slept in late- for us, went to the gym and had a a good two hour work out, went out to the town center, wandered our small do dah farmers market and had lunch at our favorite Mexican restaurant while sitting out on the patio in the 70 degree, low humidity (bizarre and rare weather for January).

    This sharing time together is something we used to do a lot, but haven't been able to do for the last two years or so because of fear of leaving Dad alone for too long.

    I wish this day hadn't come, but I still felt very grateful that it was such a good day.

    marni
    marni
    Katy, Texas
    Trek Madone 6.5- "Red"
    Trek Pilot 5.2- " Bebe"


    "easily outrun by a chihuahua."

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Beautiful NW or Left Coast
    Posts
    5,619
    I am sorry for your loss. I presume he died gently from the tone of this. Boy, he was still going to the gym!! amazing.
    You deserve a break!
    I like Bikes - Mimi
    Watercolor Blog

    Davidson Custom Bike - Cavaletta
    Dahon 2009 Sport - Luna
    Old Raleigh Mixte - Mitzi

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Uncanny Valley
    Posts
    14,498
    (((((((marni))))))) I'm so sorry for your loss.

    I don't doubt your feelings are very complicated right now, so I'm really glad you were able to have a good day.
    Speed comes from what you put behind you. - Judi Ketteler

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    4,516
    ((((Marni & SAG Guy))))

    Wishing you the ability to feel what you need to feel, the ability to let yourself heal, and that time may ease your pain. From what you shared, you did an amazing amount in his last few years and months to make his life as full as possible. I'm glad you were able to have a good day - you deserve it!
    Most days in life don't stand out, But life's about those days that will...

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    Jacksonville area of NC
    Posts
    821
    (((hugs)))

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Pacific Northwest
    Posts
    3,436
    Marni, I am so glad that today was like that.
    "My predominant feeling is one of gratitude. I have loved and been loved;I have been given much and I have given something in return...Above all, I have been a sentient being, a thinking animal, on this beautiful planet, and that in itself has been an enormous privilege and an adventure." O. Sacks

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    1,648
    Marni, so sorry for your loss. Glad you had a good day!
    2014 Bobbin Bramble / Brooks B67
    2008 Rodriguez Rainier Mirage / Terry Butterfly Tri Gel
    2007 Dahon Speed Pro TT / Biologic Velvet
    1998? GT Rebound / Serfas Gel

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    491
    hugs to you, marni. So sorry for your loss.
    2014 Surly Straggler
    2012 Salsa Casseroll - STOLEN

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Illinois
    Posts
    3,853
    ((((Marni)))) Sorry to hear about your FIL, it sounds like he had a good run in this life, and excellent care from you in his later years. Happy you and your hubby had a good day.

    Electra Townie 7D

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Central Indiana
    Posts
    6,034
    (((marni))). I am so sorry for your loss. I'd echo Blueberry's eloquent post. Take care of you.
    Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Continue to learn. Appreciate your friends. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is.

    --Mary Anne Radmacher

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Washington, DC
    Posts
    1,632
    Marni: My condolences for your loss.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Concord, MA
    Posts
    13,394
    I am sorry, Marni.
    But, you did a great job of dealing with this situation. There is nothing wrong with enjoying the day with your DH. It sounds like your FIL would have liked you to be doing this.
    2015 Trek Silque SSL
    Specialized Oura

    2011 Guru Praemio
    Specialized Oura
    2017 Specialized Ariel Sport

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Pac. NW
    Posts
    350
    Hugs to you both. I know he was a part of your everyday life. You took great care of him.
    2011 Specialized Ruby Comp
    2015 Giant Liv Tempt 3

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    3,176
    It is lovely that you had a good day in a difficult time.
    Take care.
    Each day is a gift, that's why it is called the present.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    San Diego, CA
    Posts
    1,316
    Amen and much love to both of you. We should all be so lucky in our later years to have such care as you and your husband and given his father.

    Roxy
    Getting in touch with my inner try-athlete.

 

 

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