Women of the World Be Aware!!

[CorsairMac]

Subject: Body Snatchers - Now you know

This is a heads-up to those friends who haven't experienced it yet,
and an explanation to those friends and family who have.

Most of you have read the scare-mail about the person whose kidneys
were stolen while he was passed out. Well, read on. While the kidney
story was an urban legend, this one is not. It's happening every day.

My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. It
was just that quick. I went to sleep in m y body and woke up with
someone else's thighs. The new ones had the texture of cooked oatmeal.
Who would have done such a cruel thing to legs that had been mine for
years? Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine?

I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and
angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans and Sheer
Energy pantyhose.

Then, just when my guard was down, the thieves struck again. My butt
was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to
match my new rear end (although badly attached at least three inches
lower than my original) to the thighs they stuck me with earlier. Now,
my rear complemented my legs, lump for lump. Frantic, I prayed that
long skirts would stay in fashion.

It was two years ago when I realized my arms had been switched. One
morning I was fixing my hair and I watch ed horrified but fascinated
as the flesh of my upper arms swung to and fro with the motion of the
hairbrush.

This was really getting scary. My body was being replaced one
Section at a time. How clever and fiendish.

Age? Age had nothing to do with it. Age is supposed to creep up,
unnoticed, something like maturity. NO, I was being attacked
repeatedly and without warning.

In despair, I gave up my T-shirts. What could they do to me next?

My poor neck disappeared more quickly than the Thanksgiving turkey it
now resembled.

That's why I decided to tell my story. I can't take on the medical
profession by myself. Women of the world, wake up and smell the
coffee.

That really isn't plastic that those surgeons are using. You KNOW
where they are getting those replacement parts, don't you?

The next time you suspect someone has had a face "lifted", look
again. Was it lifted from you?

I think I finally found my thighs.. and I hope that Cindy Crawford
paid a really good price for them!

This is not a hoax. This is happening to women in every town every
night.

WARN YOUR FRIENDS.
P.S. I must say that last year I thought someone had stolen my
breasts. I was lying in bed and they were gone! As I jumped out of bed
I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I
slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.

[spazzdog]

LMAO... Corsair you are one sick woman! And I love you for it.

spazz

[nuthatch]

So THAT'S what's happening to me!!! Dang!!!

[DeniseGoldberg]

Corsair -
I saw the title of your post, and I figured that you had really been taken by someone. But then I read on... funny!

Thanks - I needed the smiles today.
--- Denise

[KkAllez]

Oh geez, that is so true and funny! Just other day I was telling Ben, "I used to have such nice legs, what happened to them?" Now I can see that I have been victimized. Oh the horror, the horror of it all!

This is as funny as the waxing story on the other board. Today while cycling I kept thinking about that one line about 'using the blow dryer' and I'd would just crack up. If anyone saw me they would have thought I was certifiable.

[massbikebabe]

ROFLMAO!!!

no more snow for you corsair...it makes you punchy!!! Your the best

karen

[Technotart]

Oh my GOSH!!!!! You know - I had solved the mystery of what happens to socks in the laundry - they turn into cheap wire coat hangers - the small ones that the shirts slide off of.

But I had not yet solved the mystery of the dissapearing thighs!!!!


ROFL!!!!!!!!

[aka_kim]

I'm laughing so hard I'm crying! Corsair you should be writing for SNL!

[Susan126]

So funny and so true! Turning 51 this year I noticed my waist is disappearing! I'm turning into . . . . . . OH God NO . . . . . my mother! She gave me her waist! Aaarrghh!

[LBTC]

I'm turning into . . . . . . OH God NO . . . . . my mother! She gave me her waist! Aaarrghh!

does she have yours now?

giggle

~T~

[CorsairMac]

So funny and so true! Turning 51 this year I noticed my waist is disappearing! I'm turning into . . . . . . OH God NO . . . . . my mother! She gave me her waist! Aaarrghh!

My mother used to always say "waist not, want not"

[Susan126]

does she have yours now?

giggle

~T~

If she did I would demand it back! I love you mom but we're talking about my waist by gollie! Hitting "middle age" I have noticed weight gain in areas I never had concern for before. Sigh . . . genes . . . don't you just hate them sometime?