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Thread: Grrr....

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    20

    Grrr....

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    I tried to join a Mom's group (Hey always worth a shot to meet new people and find out what kind of fun kid stuff there is out there), and I was asked what I do for a living-ok veterinary medicine (how cute! you pet animals for a living* stop me from slapping her)and then I say I'm a sex educator(since 1996) and passion consultant. *record players stops* and she and a few friends immediately rose their eyebrows and excused themselves from my presence.

    WTF? Ok, so no moms group for me! Very awkward. :/
    Giant OCR 1W
    www.amcgltd.com
    Licensed Vet Tech as my full time Job (14 years)
    Professional Belly Dancer (7 years)
    PROUD mom of a 2.5 year old
    Independent Passion Consultant (Northern VA, DC, MD area)
    http://ellencarozza.yourpassionconsultant.com/

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Vernon, British Columbia
    Posts
    2,226
    Well, if it's any consolation, I think your professions are very interesting and well-rounded. I'd like to say something nasty about uptight persons, but I guess they have their reasons. It's easy enough for you to not go again. It sounds like it's their loss!

    Hugs and butterflies,
    ~T~
    The butterflies are within you.

    My photos: http://www.flickr.com/photos/picsiechick/

    Buy my photos: http://www.picsiechick.com

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Minneapolis, MN
    Posts
    400
    I don't know you, but these don't sound like women that you'd really want to spend time with anyway. They definitely don't sound like people I'd want to spend time with. I agree, their loss.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Brooklyn, NY
    Posts
    820
    They just up and walked away? How rude!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    3,867
    Do you live in the South? Then I'm not surprised.

    You may have to search a little harder for people who are more open. And google the names of the groups, because some of them don't say it out front, but many are very conservative and Christianity based.

    Karen

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    130
    Ahhhh I hear you on trying to join Mom's groups. Some if not most have a hard time having new people join their group. Why? I am not sure.

    Wish you lived out on the West Coast as I have no doubt you would be welcome in our loose knit wacky group. Trust me you want to meet people with similar interests and discipline styles...

    They are not my biking buddies, not my school buddies - we just met through a Mom's group when the kids were young. The group was big - 15 or so, as the kids got older it has slimmed down to a core 7 or so.
    We get along and hang out just enough to stave off the crazys that go along with motherhood.

    Keep trying to meet people. I have met some of the best Moms/kids in the last few years through kids gymnastics and classes with the kids.

    And remember you don't have to be best of friends...just to know that they understand what you are going through and can support you is the best.

    Good Luck and having "Mom" friends is really important...just as important as my cycling, pub and soccer friends!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    130
    Oh I forgot to say that those women were probably the ones who would benefit most from your services!!! Poor Husbands!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    20
    They just amazed me. Really. I kept feeling that was the typical 'stay at mom home' attitude was. Then I got to thinking...if I was stay at home, I would not be like that.

    I prefer to think they just need the B*&tch F'd back in the box for once. Perhaps then they will not be so judgmental.
    Giant OCR 1W
    www.amcgltd.com
    Licensed Vet Tech as my full time Job (14 years)
    Professional Belly Dancer (7 years)
    PROUD mom of a 2.5 year old
    Independent Passion Consultant (Northern VA, DC, MD area)
    http://ellencarozza.yourpassionconsultant.com/

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    1,627
    Quote Originally Posted by LBTC View Post
    Well, if it's any consolation, I think your professions are very interesting and well-rounded. I'd like to say something nasty about uptight persons, but I guess they have their reasons. It's easy enough for you to not go again. It sounds like it's their loss!

    Hugs and butterflies,
    ~T~
    I agree with the above. Some people live in their own little worlds and are intimidated with anything outside of their "norm". They will often block people out of their groups or try to isolate others. I say don't worry about it and just know, as LBTC said, it is their loss.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Delaware
    Posts
    528

    "And she crawls on her belly like a reptile..."

    It's probably a self-concept issue with these women who guard their group from interlopers. Your resume is truly amazing and wonderful and it probably blew them out of the water.

    People are always worth a second chance in my opinion. Offer them a free bellydancing lesson sometime. The more horrified they are about that and sex therapy, the more they need someone to tease them out of their obsessive attitude.

    Just a thought. I grew up in the south and ran the gauntlet through a few groups like that. But man oh man, once they opened up and relaxed there were no better friends. I found myself a tangential "member" of some rather extremist groups and the diversity did more for me than anyone.

    On the other hand, if they were real stinkers and rude to you, you don't have to turn the other cheek. It's just that in situations like that I think everyone loses. They lose your sparkling and very funny personality and energy and you lose an opportunity to practice compassion.

    Well, okay, I did draw the line at the fundamentalist snake-handling church. They didn't understand me when I asked them if they had bothered to ask the snakes if they WANTED to dance. (It was my Zen period in the sixties where....FAR OUT....everything is a sentient being....Ohhhhmmmmmmm". I was politely asked to leave although they did insist that I still sing Alto for a member's funeral who died from snakebite.

    I passed on the singing. We all have our limits.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Riding my Luna & Rivendell in the Hudson Valley, NY
    Posts
    8,408
    It's possible they thought you were getting a kick out of purposely trying to provoke them.

    Maybe you could start your own mom's group with like-minded women?
    Last edited by BleeckerSt_Girl; 08-11-2008 at 05:51 PM.
    Lisa
    My mountain dulcimer network...FOTMD.com...and my mountain dulcimer blog
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  12. #12
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    I'm the only one allowed to whine
    Posts
    10,557
    Do you know about Hip Mama? http://www.hipmama.com/

    They have meet ups, and there might be one near you: http://hipmama.meetup.com/

    There used to be a message board (kinda like this one) that I clung to for dear life for a while, but I can't find it.
    "If Americans want to live the American Dream, they should go to Denmark." - Richard Wilkinson

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    40
    LOL...I'm sorry. But when I read your post I thought. "What a stupid thing for them to say about being a Vet!" "How RUDE and IGNORANT"

    Then I read the part about you being a passion consultant and maybe they were just afraid of your good advice....This was a moms group right? maybe they didn't want any more kids....pregnancy is in the water you know.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    the dry side
    Posts
    4,365
    Sometimes you have to shop around for a group that feels right. Just because a group of women have kids the same age doesn't mean you'll have common values or interests.

    I've found parent cooperatives preschools are a great way to meet moms. Theses are usually run by adult education, at least in the two cities I did this kind of program. It beat the heck out of the lap swimming mommies I was a part of - they kicked me out because my baby was fussy-, or the officially organized M.O.M.S group I checked out that was incredibly unsupportive and *****y and downright nasty if you weren't in the same room.

    I suppose it would go against a professional image to say, "what's the face about, haven't you had a really great orgasm lately?"

    I was a in home lingerie sales person for many years - I tended to not let that out of the bag right away just because people are so weird sometimes.
    Last edited by Irulan; 08-11-2008 at 08:51 PM.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Concord, MA
    Posts
    13,394
    A subject dear to my heart...
    I had a very negative attitude toward anything "Mommy and Me." When I had my first son, I was teaching and many of the other teachers also had babies. Baby talk everywhere. So, after I had registered to take 2 English classes at ASU during summer school, arranged for day care, I got a thing in the mail from the JCC about a class for moms and toddlers. I don't know what possessed me, but I dropped the grad classes and took my kid to the group. There were like 25 women and their babies there. They also had a play group and a couples group. I started on a journey of all things toddler for 2 months! They broke me down. Everyone was nice, though much too obsessed with their kids. They thought I was weird because I dragged my kid to the gym with me to do aerobics everyday. A couple of months later, when I announced pregnancy #2 someone said," Oh, you're going to quit your job now, right?"
    Like h*ll I was.
    But, 25 years later and a move across the country, I still consider 3 of these people some of my closest friends. I might not see them for a year or two, but when I go back to Tempe, I slip right in and it's like I never left. Our kids have grown up remarkably similar, despite the distance.
    My advice is find a group that you have something in common with and ignore the judgmental ones. I know that I never was able to "fit in" with any of my neighbors, because they were the same uptight, prudish types of moms you describe.

 

 

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