Sports psychology question...

[Bluetree]

I've been an overachiever for much of my life because, well, I've always been capable of single-minded focus for things I was naturally good at. (I know bad grammer, sorry) I tended to avoid things I wasn't good at because frankly, I'm an anal-retentive snob who doesn't like to look bad.

The reason I got into triathlon was because solitary, long distance activity suits my temperament. But I'm not a naturally gifted athlete and I realize that I'll never be posting fast times.

When training for an event, whether it be a tri or DC or whatever, how do you balance personal enjoyment while still maintaining a drive to be competitive? Frankly, I'm finding that a lot of my training isn't fun, esp. the stuff that is measured against a clock.

And for someone who is success- and achievement-oriented... how does one "find the fun" while straggling home in the back of the pack? I know my friends are just trying to encourage me, but the effortless way their gazelle-like legs can spin out 7-minute miles is more discouraging than anything.

Is there a way to repattern my thinking... or is it a matter of finding a training partner who is less fit and even slower than myself?

[rocknrollgirl]

Hi BT,
I am a mt bike racer, adventure racer and now have set my eye on Xterra. I did not even know I was competetive until I started racing in 2002. Like you, I take my training very seriously, but I do manage to keep it fun.

Here is how I handle my mental racing and training.

1. Every time I race, I set a personal goal for myself. Sometimes it is to place at a certain point in my age group. Sometimes it is based on time.

I did an off road run-bike-run last Oct. I knew the girl that was going to win. I race aginst her all the time. She is 20 years my junior and an amazing athlete. So I set a goal of a finishing time 1:40 min. That was my personal goal. I finished in 1:38.


2. Everytime I race I set a goal that is kind of a joke that is also my mantra. I just don't want to be last, and I want to beat the pants off a few men. I always accomplish that goal!!!!

3. I also remember EVERY time I race, that at 45 years old, most of the women that I know are home on the couch or shoe shopping. That being said, EVERY time I suit up to train, I am a winner, and a role model.

4. I also train with the DH, a big strapping laddie. I cannot keep up with him, ever, so we set times for our intervals and sometimes train simultaneoulsy, and not together. Stick with those faster runners...I am no expert, but training with faster people has made me faster.

He has been an athlete his whole life, and when asked his advice on this matter, he said...that which does not kill you.......

5. I also do a lot of visualization about the race, and the transitions and where I want to finish...goofy but it works.


And lastly...there is always the T-shirt

Train on....I take comfort in knowing that you guys are out there working hard too.

Ruth

[KSH]

Well... I think I understand what you are saying... or rather, experiencing.

Last year, I started to train with a tri club. I was SO EXCITED! People with my same interest... to train with! Cool! Right? WRONG!

I started with the Tri 101 group. I had been riding for 2 years already, so I felt confident I would do fine on the group rides. My running was horrible, so I knew I wouldn't be able to keep up there- but I figured I would have some slower buddies. My swimming is fast, so I wasn't worried about at all.

So, here's how it all played out over 1-5 months:

CYCLING- At first, I was the same speed as everyone. Then, I slowly started falling behind. Yea, people who had only been riding for a month were kicking my ***. I started to feel really bad about my cycling performance. There were a few rides where I contemplated WHY I was even trying to do tri's... when I sucked so bad.

RUNNING- The first week with the group, I was far behind everyone. I also sprained my ankle on a run. So, I basically had a bum ankle for the rest of the Tri 101 program. That, coupled with my running injury and it being nothing but pain- I was a like a hurt animal limping behind everyone on the runs. Pathetic. Again, I questioned why the hell I was doing this for.

SWIMMING- This was where I kicked butt. Cool! Although, it got really frustrating swimming with slow and inexperienced swimmers in a crowded lane. I am also pretty sure they got annoyed with me touching their feet and passing at the wall.

So, after those few months... I realized that training WASN'T FUN ANYMORE! But why? What is it that wasn't fun?

Well... with my tri club: Everytime I went to ride... I struggled to not get dropped. Running was miserable. And swimming was frustrating.


I decided it was time to make training fun again.

I remembered that cycling with my cycling club was fun. There were people all of all levels there. I went back to riding with them- and riding was fun again! I wasn't constantly getting dropped and feeling like crap because of it. Cycling problem fixed.

I knew that my running was at it's lowest point and the pain was unbearable. That was when I decided to go get a running coach- and basically stopped running for a good 6 months. So, no stress of having to run with the tri club anymore. Now days, I run alone. That's fine with me. I'm slow and I like to run my own run.

With the swimming... I knew that I could only do open water swims with my tri club. Otherwise, I would do my pool workouts on my own. Swimming problem fixed.


Moral of this really long story: When training stopped being fun, I really analyzed WHY it wasn't fun and I changed how and who I was training with. Feeling like you are pathetic, everytime you go train, isn't fun. And I felt that way training with people who are so much faster than I will ever be.


Finally... yes there is more... I know that I'm slow. I won't ever run a 7 minute mile... I won't win my age group... but that's OK. I'm still an athlete. I'm out there doing it. If I cared about winning I wouldn't be doing this anymore, that's for sure. But the flip side... I would go back to being a gym rat- NO THANKS!

So, I go to my races, and just try to do what I can do. I will never be first, and I probably won't be last... and that's perfectly OK. I am just grateful I can get out there and do it.

Not sure if that helped at all????

[Bluetree]

Thanks RnR,
Yeah, I do have to focus on the "big picture" and I'm glad I'm not a couch potato! And I DO have to define my personal goals, whether it be month-to-month or race-to-race.

K,
Thats EXACTLY what I'm going through right now. My 11-minute miles are embarrassing to mention in front of my friends, who are all guys, all elite-level. But like I mentioned on another thread, I really don't know anyone near my level to train with, or even talk to... I'm so glad you (((TE gals))) are around!

On a positive note, I know I am improving, albeit slowly and in tiny increments. I just wish the milestones were a little more, er... conspicuous.

[KSH]

But like I mentioned on another thread, I really don't know anyone near my level to train with, or even talk to... I'm so glad you (((TE gals))) are around!

Exactly. That has been my delima all along. I really want a training partner... but I fall in this "dead zone"... where 90% of the people are faster than me... and 9% are slower than me.

Even with my cycling, at a 16 mph average for most rides, it's HARD to find riding buddies. If it weren't for my cycling club, I wouldn't have any.

And yea, TE is great and a wonderful support.... but sometimes you just want a gal pal on the road with you to train with.

[smithcyn42]

I know what you mean. When I start feeling competitive, it always ends up making me feel discouraged. I started endurance sports as a very slow marathon runner, and I have found the running community to be very welcoming to the athlete who wants to enjoy the PROCESS of the sport, not just the outcome. However, the sport of triathlon does not seem as welcoming to me. There is such a high emphasis on being the fastest that it feels exclusionary to the average, non-physically gifted person who just loves the sport. I know that I was very happy to see your post because it let me know that I wasn't alone in feeling like the sport of triahtlon is too competitive.

My best advice to you is to try to enjoy the process, and when you start feeling competitive in a way that will make you unhappy, remember that by participating in the sport, you are like a magical being to the general population!

[LBTC]

First, let me say that *anyone* who completes a triathlon, ever, has tons of respect from me! I can only imagine the bike, and can't imagine myself ever being in a competitive swim or run!! And to do them all on the same day - you are amazing!!

That said, I also have a similar worry about training in the coming bike season. With this new health condition, I don't know yet what my exertion tolerance will be this mountain biking season. I'll be returning to a race that I won the last time I raced it, and I know that I have little chance of winning it this year - partly because the race has grown and will have many more competitors, and because I really don't know how hard I can train, or how hard I can ride this year.

This is tough. It wasn't until I got pretty decent and fairly fast (keeping up with the fast guys on the friendly weekly ride, beating the medium fast guys on a regular basis and in some races), that I realized that I really am competitive. Knowing that this is going to be a tough adjustment this year, I've been trying to change my mindset already.

I do gentle yoga every morning - the kind where I listen to my body, not the kind where I push myself to do arm balances, etc, like I used to. I try to imagine enjoying the race, not so much racing it. I don't know if this will help or not, but I sure hope it does. Having the race to train for will help keep me working pretty hard at exercise, so I don't want to drop the racing.

Tell me how it goes for you, and what works for you. We're still at least a month or more away from any mountain bike rides, and I won't really know how my competitiveness is feeling until I get on the trail with some other riders.

Good luck and remember that you are in it for the fun!

Hugs and happy butterflies,
~T~

[Veronica]

And for someone who is success- and achievement-oriented... how does one "find the fun" while straggling home in the back of the pack?

Your feeling of success and achievement needs to be measured against you. I had the next to the last finishing time on the Mt. Tam Double Century, so I get being at the tail end of the pack. And yeah it can be depressing if you let it be.

It doesn't take away from your success if someone is faster than you. There will be always be someone faster than you. Even if you finish first this time, next time you may not.

If you're improving that's all that really matters. And it is hard when your buddies have more natural ability than you. But just think how much harder you have to work. That takes drive and determination - way more impressive than natural ability.

V.

[KSH]

First, let me say that *anyone* who completes a triathlon, ever, has tons of respect from me! I can only imagine the bike, and can't imagine myself ever being in a competitive swim or run!! And to do them all on the same day - you are amazing!!

That said, I also have a similar worry about training in the coming bike season. With this new health condition, I don't know yet what my exertion tolerance will be this mountain biking season. I'll be returning to a race that I won the last time I raced it, and I know that I have little chance of winning it this year - partly because the race has grown and will have many more competitors, and because I really don't know how hard I can train, or how hard I can ride this year.

This is tough. It wasn't until I got pretty decent and fairly fast (keeping up with the fast guys on the friendly weekly ride, beating the medium fast guys on a regular basis and in some races), that I realized that I really am competitive. Knowing that this is going to be a tough adjustment this year, I've been trying to change my mindset already.

Ah... well, thanks!

You know what though, I am total AWE of people who go out mountain biking. I did a little bit of it on a very flat and "paved" surface- made of rocks...and it scared me to DEATH!

I can't imagine actually riding over rocks, dirt, tree roots... etc.!

Good luck with your upcoming year. It is hard to go back to something, and not be "as great" as you were before.

I hope it all turns out OK and that you have fun riding your bike!

[Wahine]

Blue - I understand what you are saying. I've belonged to tri clubs before and it's always tough when you go out with the group. Like V said, there is always someone faster. I liked training with my tri group and in the beginning I was one of the faster ones, I had been in the sport for longer and had more base. I'm not naturally fast so it wasn't long before a lot of the juniors started to kick my butt. Eventually, I had to stop training with the club, they were too fast and I was pushig myself so hard that I wouldn't recover well. This led to poor race results and even a bad spell of pneumonia.

I had to really take a step back and listen to my body. Guess what, by slowing down and doing my workouts as planned, not only am I having more fun, but I'm also improving faster. I recover better and I can see myself getting stronger weekly.

Triathlon is a tough sport. It's a great sport. It's also a sport that attracts people that are uber-competitive. It's really easy to get caught up in it all. My advice is to try to take a step back and reassess how and with who you want to spend your training time. You might still want to train with the group once per week, call it your hard workout. Then workout by yourself the rest of the week.

Since I just moved, I have no training buddies and I workout by myself almost all the time. I kinda like it.

[Grog]

I have been thinking about this since you posted, Blue.

I've always been an academic over-achiever (although not necessarily a perfectionist... anyway) and I'm still in school (Eventually they'll kick me out.) I also have enjoyed doing well professionally. I've been "competitive" in political stuff.

However, I do cycling and running (and.... sometimes swimming...) for triathlons strictly for fun.

Don't misread me: I enjoy the competition aspect. The idea that I have a race coming (triathlon or running race) keeps me going. Especially for running, which was painful for me at first. I don't need races for cycling, and don't feel very competitive about it. During a race, I give all I have. As the finish line approaches, I'll sprint, hoping to overtake the person in front of me.

But there's no way I'll finish first, or even close to the top, even in my age group. I'm a middle-of-the-packer. Hey, that's not too bad, for a girl who never did sports before. And I'm out there doing it, and enjoying the day, cheering for others too, and loving to see my BetterHalf cheering for me. (And I love that definition on my calves and lower quads!!!!)

Sports aren't my life. That's not what I'm paid for. Even if, say, I came in top-three in my age group... Well I'd be really proud, but... so what? I'll never make it a career. I won't be writing "Top age-grouper" in my resume. But I'm out there, "shakin' in", as BetterHalf says. Just like, by the way, the vast majority of people at races. Clubs are often made of more dedicated people, but look at actual results from actual races, and there's a lot of everything out there.

A friend of mine noted recently that it takes about 10 years to develop the physiology of an endurance athlete. Well I've just started three years ago. And I'm not even really organizing myself to "develop" as such. I just do get out there and do it. That's good enough for me.

Oh, and regarding partners: I do most of my cycling alone (although I belong to a club, which is great for long rides, and it's an all-women club so it's easier to keep up), but have found a running partner who's at about my pace. I'm lucky that way... But I really enjoy running on my own with music, too.

[Crankin]

I just happened by this thread, since I gave up on my idea of doing a tri a few months ago.
But I can relate to the competitive thing. I have been a type A obsessive type with work and school all of my life. In fact, pretty much with everything. I will never forget the time maybe about 12 years ago when the mother of one of my son's classmates told me she was shocked when she found out that I had a full time job and I also worked as a fitness instructor. She told me that she figured I was someone who just sat at home and made myself look "put together" all of the time. Huh?? Like a working mom can't be organized and "put together?" But, when I reflected, I understood what she meant. I don't do things if I can't be good at them. Well, cycling changed all that. It also has caused me to slow down and re evaluate (well, and getting older). Most of the people I ride with ride a little slower than me. That makes me feel "good" but sometimes frustrated. When I ride with my husband, he pushes me at times and when my average goes up, I feel really good. But then some woman flies by me on the road and it sends me into a tailspin. I train too much and then I get sick or tired or burned out. So last year, I decided if it wasn't going to be fun, I couldn't continue. I found a group to ride with that sort of rides at my middle of the road speed-- 15-16 mph average. I have found it hard to find people who ride at my speed. Most are either way to slow or way too fast for me to enjoy riding with.
OK, I am rambling, but I have found out when cycling starts to feel like work, it's time to back off and go do something else. That's why I didn't start training for a tri. I am a slow 10 min. mile runner and I can barely swim. There are not enough hours in the day for me to try and improve all that and still live a somewhat balanced life.

[equus123]

i think the real thing is to get to the bottom of this cycling thing you had going on instead of putting it by the wayside.

you need to ask yourself what you want out of the sport. recreational or intense? fun or training? you seem to want part of both but it can't work that way.

if you want to be a recreational cyclist then go for a ride by yourself or others at a faster pace every now and then to feed that craving and keep yourself sane on the bike when you're in your slower rides.

if you want to be a more serious cyclist then don't settle for riding with people slower than you. maybe on recovery rides or longer weekend rides you can go with them. if you want to get better then you have to ride with people who are faster/better than you otherwise you won't reach as high a potential, if at all.

if you want to be a recreational cyclist then you need to change your mentality and frustration about riding slower. teach yourself and remind yourself that you enjoy being on the bike and keep it at that.

if you want to be more serious on the bike then ride by yourself more. it is possible. that way you can't complain about the group's pace (slow or fast) and rely on yourself to get whatever you want out of each ride.

...just some food for thought.

[Crankin]

I do ride by myself, but probably not as much as I used to. I am definitely a recreational cyclist, but more in the avid category. I improved steadily the first couple of years; I trained really hard to prepare for my trip to Europe a couple of years ago but I haven't seen a big increase in speed since then. Of course, I didn't work that hard at increasing it, but I have been working on specific skills like cornering, descending, which I am totally uncoordinated with. I saw an improvement last fall, so I am going to keep working on that. I try to keep in mind that most 53 year old women are not worrying about these things, and while I may feel like a slothful athlete, my non cycling friends think I'm crazy. It just seems whenever I ramp up either the speed or the mileage my body breaks down. I am in awe of people who can go out and do 60-70 miles a few times a week. While I can easily ride those distances, it is usually just a once a week thing and sometimes at a slower speed than let's say a 30 mile ride. For example, when I went on the tour to Europe, most of the other people were my age. There were days of really hard climbs, 12-15% grades, heat, cold, everything you can think of. They would come back from riding, sit around and drink for 2 hours, then start dinner, and drink the whole rest of the night until who knows what time. If I have more than one glass of wine and try to ride the next day, I'm toast. i have to be in bed by 10, maybe even 9 to feel good when I'm touring.
Well, this is getting off topic from the original question. I think the point is to decide what is OK for you and live with it!

[equus123]

yup

also the big thing in general is not to compare yourself to others. it's irrelevant to what you can do, where you're at, and what your potential is.