Show us your pets!

[papaver]

I want that cookieeeeeee!!!!!!

[badger]

oldie but a goodie:

The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.

Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpe ndicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:

TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:

(1) They live here. You don't. (2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture. (3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people. (4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.

Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they (1) eat less, (2) don't ask for money all the time, (3) are easier to train, (4) normally come when called, (5) never ask to drive the car, (6) don't hang out with drug-using people; (7) don't smoke or drink, (8) don't want to wear your clothes, (9) don't have to buy the latest fashions, (10) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and (11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children ..

[Selkie]

Poor Margot. I had to rush her to the vet Friday when I got home. Her face was swollen---apparently she was having an allergic reaction. Vet thinks it might have been a bug bite, which makes sense (I've seen more spiders in the house since we had a cold snap last week). Other than the swelling, she checked out OK (heart, breathing, no swelling in her throat, etc).

After a shot of benedryl and an IV of steroids, the swelling went gradually went down. $200 later.....

The final indignity: the vet looked at her and said, "she's FAT." I tried to tell her that Margot was just fluffy and big boned, but the vet wasn't buying it! She's just about 8.5 months old and has to go off puppy food. My poor pork chop.

[Trekhawk]

Poor Margot. I had to rush her to the vet Friday when I got home. Her face was swollen---apparently she was having an allergic reaction. Vet thinks it might have been a bug bite, which makes sense (I've seen more spiders in the house since we had a cold snap last week). Other than the swelling, she checked out OK (heart, breathing, no swelling in her throat, etc).

After a shot of benedryl and an IV of steroids, the swelling went gradually went down. $200 later.....

The final indignity: the vet looked at her and said, "she's FAT." I tried to tell her that Margot was just fluffy and big boned, but the vet wasn't buying it! She's just about 8.5 months old and has to go off puppy food. My poor pork chop.

Glad to hear she is ok. My poor Fergus got told he was a little fat last time we visited the vet. Since then he has lost about 2 kilos. The vet was pleased but Fergus still looks a little sad when he sees the smaller amounts in his bowl at dinner.

[lunacycles]

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpe ndicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible.

The cosmic law behind the disproportionate space a dog occupies on its beloved owner's bed and the insistence to sleep more or less 90 degrees to the owner's centre line is as awesome as any. It shocks me how much bed space your sweet little pooch will insist on occupying! And how much I will contort my body to accommodate them!

TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:

(1) They live here. You don't. (2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.

I am awed by the truth of this. Why is it so hard for my S.O. to appreciate this??

thanks, badger--that was a fun read!

[mtbdarby]

The final indignity: the vet looked at her and said, "she's FAT." I tried to tell her that Margot was just fluffy and big boned, but the vet wasn't buying it! She's just about 8.5 months old and has to go off puppy food. My poor pork chop.

If it's any concellation, she's not fat. She's POOFY (that's from Manny in Ice Age!)

Love the sayings Badger. Priceless!

It's between -20 to -30 with windchills now. Poor Zeus went out to go potty and stayed a bit too long. I was just getting ready to go check the snowbanks at the 10 minute mark. He came back limping and shivering. I wrapped him in a blanket on the love seat and cuddled with him and my son says - "Mom, why are you sitting with him and not me?" I love both my boys. And they're both high maintainence!

[NoNo]

I went to bed and Ruthie was sleeping against my back. I woke up at one point and found that I was on my back in a plie position with her smack in the middle. Amazing the subliminal powers she has over me in my sleep. Of course, this was after she threw a fit when I tried to take a Christmas picture with her. Take a camera out and she walks right up to it, ruining whatever scene you were trying to capture. Take a camera out because you actually want her to look at it, and she runs in fear. Apparently things have to be on her terms.

[papaver]

I felt like Jackie Kennedy this morning. My little doggie hurt his leg really bad. There was blood everywhere. Fortunately my vet could see us right away. Twelve stitches, some antibiotics and painkillers and he's as good as new again.

[tulip]

What happened to the pooch, Papaver? Which one was it? Glad things are better now.

[divingbiker]

So this is why I usually run or ride my bike to work. Trying to exercise at home just doesn't work.

[redrhodie]

Eddy always laughs at Twiggy's jokes. He's the purrfect guy.

[redrhodie]

DB, those your personal trainers? Too cute!

[Selkie]

Good lord, DB, is dog wearing leopard fur? What a vixen.

I had "pork chop" (Margot) out for a walk this morning and she stole a stick from a sweet little yellow lab named Dorothy. I had to pry it out of her mouth to give it back---it broke and each dog got her own smaller portion to carry. Margot carried that thing more than a mile home and of course, wanted to bring it inside. It's now on our front porch, waiting to be carried on her next walk.

[divingbiker]

Good lord, DB, is dog wearing leopard fur? What a vixen.

Uh, the "vixen" is a boy. That's the only sweater I have, and I keep the temperature kind of low during the day, so the two old dogs get sweaters. Sammy chewed through his yesterday, but he's a heat box anyway so he doesn't need one.

[Selkie]

Uh, the "vixen" is a boy. That's the only sweater I have, and I keep the temperature kind of low during the day, so the two old dogs get sweaters. Sammy chewed through his yesterday, but he's a heat box anyway so he doesn't need one.

Ooops, sorry, no offense intended! That can be a unisex sweater---Tarzan for boys, vixen for girls. You are such a good mommy!