I only thought this fair, since some of us do not have cats

Dear Big Dog:
Why do you turn in a circle three times before lying down?
-Annoyed at the bed shaking

Dear Little Dog:
Why must you lick us to death? We're clean. Honest. The soap and lotion were applied on purpose.
-Licked

Dear Too Smart Dog:
I shut the bedroom door on purpose: to keep you out. Please do not open it.
-The Boss