Dear So and So

[Pax]

Yeah, it does.

I've gotten to the point where I just refuse to read crap like that. You can't change narrow-minded, uneducated, low-intelligence people.

Saw an article recently that said middle aged white americans are committing suicide more than any other group, it indicated it was skewing towards less educated people... I can see this, so many angry, intolerant, hateful people that hold on to their bigotry even when proven wrong over and over and over. It must be depressing to always think everything sucks.

[emily_in_nc]

Saw an article recently that said middle aged white americans are committing suicide more than any other group, it indicated it was skewing towards less educated people... I can see this, so many angry, intolerant, hateful people that hold on to their bigotry even when proven wrong over and over and over. It must be depressing to always think everything sucks.

I read the same article. But I'm pretty sure it said men were the ones killing themselves.

I believe it. I've known of four male expats (three in Belize, one here in Playa) to kill themselves just in the past couple of years. In their case I don't think any of it was related to bigotry (one was gay, fer instance) but just deep depression. One was an Afghanistan veteran in his early 40s, so undoubtedly some PTSD there. I just find it very tragic when people see no other alternative. And I think people often come to other countries to "escape to a better place", and when they find out, as you do, that you bring your problems with you no matter where you go, they can't handle it.

[Crankin]

More women attempt suicide, but more men actually complete it.
I find that I am getting angry, too, but at all the stupid azz bigots in the world! I now have 2 trans clients, and one woman whose daughter is questioning. It has been a privilege to work with these people, help them on their journey, and learn about something that is outside my experience. Sometimes, I wonder why I can tolerate differences, when others are so prejudiced against anything that isn't within their frame of reference. Ugh. I guess it's mostly because my parents were pretty cool about stuff and my formative years were spent in a super liberal environment.

[rebeccaC]

Just endless passive aggressive refusing to call Caitlyn Jenner Caitlin, loudly applauding the vote in Houston this week, and going on and on with their usual "this is the end of our country as we know it" BS because, heaven forbid, gays or trans people have any rights. It gets very old.

I rarely respond to those things posted online….my little way of denying some oxygen to those messages…but if I do it’s usually with kindness, a calm and intelligent response and even with thanks by pointing out those views just allow fair and reasonably minded people to more clearly see the person and those ideas for what they are.

But then….isn’t it a known fact that reason and humanism are just seductive tools of that ever crafty Satan.

[Pax]

Yeah, Rebecca, these are guys I've "known" online for years. In the beginning I was kind and gentle, over time they've become so full of hate and self righteousness that I no longer even bother to reply. They are just miserable human beings, many I've met IRL over the years but now would actively avoid at any gathering. They take up a cause like "Bruce is still a man so I'll call HIM that forever" and they actually seem to enjoy the discord they sow. Sad and disconcerting times, but I suppose people have always been this way... they just now have a global sounding board rather than their local watering hole of yesterday.

[emily_in_nc]

I just don't get why anyone is so up in arms about Caitlyn Jenner. Why are these men so threatened? Does she affect them or their lives at ALL?

It's one thing if they have a trans person in their family and struggling with accepting them as the opposite gender than they are used to. That would be difficult for anyone just because of the dissonance of it. But to get all freaked out, angry, or nasty about a public figure they don't even know other than through the media? I just totally don't get it at all.

[Pax]

I just don't get why anyone is so up in arms about Caitlyn Jenner. Why are these men so threatened? Does she affect them or their lives at ALL?

It's one thing if they have a trans person in their family and struggling with accepting them as the opposite gender than they are used to. That would be difficult for anyone just because of the dissonance of it. But to get all freaked out, angry, or nasty about a public figure they don't even know other than through the media? I just totally don't get it at all.

I think the only explanation is privilege. When you are used to calling all the shots in society you simply will not be told that your old way of thinking needs to be modified in any way, you ARE the authority and you will do as you please. Or, in other words, whiny dinosaurs that are having a hissy fit about being no longer relevant.

[lph]

I agree, it's confusing to see how some people feel threatened by other people being given more acknowledgement. I could understand it if it actually meant that their privilege was threatened, but I just don't see how for instance recognition of trans people affects anyone elses privileges at all. It looks ugly because it implies that the privilege was based on keeping someone else down in the first place.

On a related note - there was a Octoberfest party at work recently, including a costume competition. I couldn't go. One of the men had dressed as a woman, 70s disco style, and apparently looked stunning. He's tall and lanky, and looked very glamourous in a silver lame jumpsuit with a halter neck, and a matching silver wig and make-up. The funny thing is I heard from several people afterwards, separately, that they felt a little uncomfortable about it because he "seemed to enjoy it too much". Which I found rather bizarre, because the whole point was to be in costume, and he was good at being in character.

Ok, so I wasn't there, but it struck me that people (women, in this case) seemed very quick to find a man in drag "creepy". Crossing gender lines seems to creep some people out a lot. I don't really think a woman dressing and acting successfully as a man would have had the same response. Is it that choosing to be feminine is choosing to be "weak" and therefore strange?

[Crankin]

That could be it, lph, but I think it's more an uncomfortableness with anything outside someone's own framework of gender or sexuality. I can definitely see people describing that situation as creepy, because a lot of people have "strict" cognitive schemas of this stuff.

[smilingcat]

Well... there are lot of things I can say about Caitlin, transgender, queer what is it LGBTQ I think its called. I really don't care. But if a man dresses up as a woman and "hit" on a woman, I would have some serious issues. I don't think that ever happens. But ya never know. As for the office guy as a glam woman, I think that's pretty funny even if he really got into the act.

--------------

Okay dear ISP,

YOU *&^%!! You said, I would have Internet connection by Nov. 3. My old ISP went out of business and now I don't have 4G connection at home. It's a good thing I still have my old personal hot spot WiFi. I've reactivated after 4 or 5 years. so I can be on the internet. And yesterday, I asked over the phone after ** minutes of wait what was the expected dated and said Nov. 19. Really!!? R U kidding? Didn't realize, there are no wires to my house and they have to install new line. Wait, there was a crew on Oct. 30 installing cables from the street to my house. Noo ma'am, there are no available lines in the street.

EXCUUUSEEEE MEEEE!!!

How much worse can it get?? oh yeah, they'll charge me $$ while I have no internet connection.

I'm not thrilled with personal hot spot either. $$$ for limited data transfer each month. And my network at home is having some issues. All my printers are on WiFi connection and now I need another WiFi for the hotspot. Windows machine no like!! Even my Linux box is no like. I hope the fiber ISP gets straightened out by the date they said they would.

AARRRGGHHHH!!!

[rebeccaC]

But if a man dresses up as a woman and "hit" on a woman, I would have some serious issues.

I just enjoy meeting and getting to know people, regardless of their gender expression or sexual orientation. I'm always open to a having a fun and/or good conversation and sometimes they can even be unexpectedly meaningful. Besides, going any further than Hi or ending an interaction can be up to me not them. Ending even a bad interaction in a nice way leaves me feeling good about my role in it too.

[Catrin]

Well... there are lot of things I can say about Caitlin, transgender, queer what is it LGBTQ I think its called. I really don't care. But if a man dresses up as a woman and "hit" on a woman, I would have some serious issues. I don't think that ever happens. But ya never know. As for the office guy as a glam woman, I think that's pretty funny even if he really got into the act.

--------------

I once knew someone like this - but it was more complex as she had gone through the gender reassignment surgery "process" - she considered herself a lesbian rather than trans. She was proud of her path and was always clear where she came from. So far, to the best of my knowledge, she is the only person I've known who has gone through the full surgical process.

[Blueberry]

Dear Volkswagon:

You suck. Your customers are tired of being patient. I tried to trade my 2011 diesel Jetta yesterday (since I had wanted to trade it since before your little indiscretion became public for reasons like - repair cost). We have one income and a boatload of med school loans coming in. The fact that this car basically can't be traded because you cheated is infuriating. It's insulting that you are now considering offering 1200 in gift cards, most of which can't be spent anywhere but VW for your overpriced service. We found the very rare perfect used Subie yesterday. Now I have to decide whether to take a 5k bath on this car, own 2 cars, or let a car that I won't easily find again go. You are leaving me no choice but to dust off my law degree and use it.

[Blueberry]

You have a law degree and are in medical school?!

Holy. Crap.

Hah. Yes. I practiced for 9 years, and realized I didn't want to do it for the rest of my life. Went back to the drawing board, took all the pre-med classes, and I'm in my first year of Med School. I call it my mid-life crisis. Sometimes nuts, but so worth it.

[rebeccaC]

Guess I still kind of want a masters in creative writing, but I actually know how to do that, it would be just for myself.

Do it when you have the time!!!

Lifelong learning with things like credit or non-credit academic courses, community service and volunteerism, educational travel etc. can expand awareness, self-fulfillment and truly create a multi-dimensional life. Listening to or taking part in stimulating discussions can also help us open our minds and understand better the other side of an issue.

The on-line formats of free continuing educational courses today also helps to ensure that learning activities are accessible to anyone that is interested in participating.