Dear So and So

[Crankin]

That made me laugh, Fredwina. I know it's not funny, though.
I like Hillary.

[Pax]

Dear Universe (again),

Seriously?????? Well, life with the puppy went to hell very quickly. The deal was my honey takes care of the puppy because I'm running 24/7 taking care of my sick mom... last Thursday my honey was walking the puppy, took a misstep and fell, she now has a broken ankle. After two days of trying to take care of mom/SO/puppy and still work full time we realized the puppy was getting zero attention and I was sobbing while standing in the yard because I was so wasted.

Saturday we returned the puppy to the breeder, it sucked so much.

Mom starts peritoneal dialysis today, I'm out of sick leave and am now using my small amount of saved vacation, by the end of the week I'll be taking time off without pay. This is all just so damned hard.

Signed,

Really needing a bit of a break

[indysteel]

((((Pax)))). I'm so sorry. Sending you good vibes that things turn around soon.

[OakLeaf]

(((((((Pax))))))) What a time you've had. Hugs and prayers.

[Sky King]

pax, so sorry to hear. Any chance you can do the family leave act? If I was closer I would bring food

Been there and my heart goes out to you virtual hug

Dear Universe (again),

Seriously?????? Well, life with the puppy went to hell very quickly. The deal was my honey takes care of the puppy because I'm running 24/7 taking care of my sick mom... last Thursday my honey was walking the puppy, took a misstep and fell, she now has a broken ankle. After two days of trying to take care of mom/SO/puppy and still work full time we realized the puppy was getting zero attention and I was sobbing while standing in the yard because I was so wasted.

Saturday we returned the puppy to the breeder, it sucked so much.

Mom starts peritoneal dialysis today, I'm out of sick leave and am now using my small amount of saved vacation, by the end of the week I'll be taking time off without pay. This is all just so damned hard.

Signed,

Really needing a bit of a break

[Catrin]

Oh Pax I am so sorry, I wish I could help you somehow. Sending you warm hugs and thought. Do check into the family medical leave act.

[Blueberry]

((((Pax))))) That situation really, really sucks. Does your employer offer any sort of leave transfer policy? Where others can transfer accrued leave and/or vacation (depending on the policy of the institution) to those who need it? I also wonder if there are any sort of eldercare resources you might be able to plug into (e.g., someone to help transport mom to her appointments, sit with her, give you a break). Might be worth looking into.

FYI to Catrin and Skyking: FMLA leave is leave without pay (unless your employer chooses to provide otherwise). So - it sounds like that's what's already happening.

[Blueberry]

Dear Major University where I am taking classes:

I get that "alternative learning" is the cool new thing. However, you have created a disaster in your "experiment" with one of the major first year classes. Having students read the book and watch (random assorted not put out by the department) youtube videos as the "lecture", then take a comprehension quiz first thing using clickers, and then work with the (assigned seat) group you have selected for us is NOT working. If I wanted to teach myself, I could have saved a large bundle of money. The people you have assigned me to work with are neither awake at 8AM nor helpful in solving the problems. The mentor "teachers" who are supposed to assist us in solving the problems are wrong more often than they're right. The entire class is a nightmare, and not just because the subject is hard.

Signed,

Disgruntled and wishing for the "good old days"

[snapdragen]

I'm so sorry Pax, I know what you're going through. Hugs to you.

[maillotpois]

Big hug to you Pax. Too much for anyone.

[Owlie]

(((((Pax)))))

Dear universe,
Lay off Pax and PaxHoney, if you don't mind.

[spokewench]

Oh Pax, so sorry to hear about all your troubles; and also Pax's honey and Mom. Sometimes, I wish all of us were a bit closer so we could react like real friends. It is hard to be separated by space.

[SFLiz]

Pax,
If, as the others already suggested, you have the option to take FMLA, I can tell you that it can be just what you need in these kinds of situations. I knew nothing about FMLA in 1997-8 but my employer at the time offered it to me after learning about my struggles at home. Back then I was constantly trying to stay one step ahead of my father's deteriorating health. My employer and I worked out a plan to work from home where I could keep my eye on my dad. I took no pay cut all the while on leave. Consider discussing options with your employer if your work is something you can do remotely from home. Today it's a lot easier and more accepted to work remotely. Perhaps you can ask for even part-time work from home, to alleviate your crisis.

If I can offer any advice at all, I urge you to please force yourself to dedicate some time daily solely for yourself. Even if that's just 10 minutes a day - this type of stress caring for a parent can be debilitating mentally and/or physically. If I didn't have my passion for distance running back then, I would have fallen deeply into depression (as it was, I was not in good shape emotionally). You need to give yourself some time to decompress from that kind of stress or it will take a toll on you. It's vital. If I can offer any advice at all, let me know. PM me.

[Pax]

Thank you everyone, I'm feeling a bit battered by life at the moment, your support and caring is a big help.

Thankfully my employer is very understanding and FMLA was offered immediately. I have no option to work from home but my honey and I are the sort who live far far below our means, so we can absorb the financial shock pretty well. I've been having to firm heart-to-heart conversations with my mom and that is painful, but it's helping. I don't want her to feel badly, but I also won't be treated like "the help" when I'm busting my butt to help her.

[malkin]

(((Pax)))) Hang in there, it has to get better.


Blueberry: Ick. Alternative, SCHMALTERNATIVE!