I took my Australian Shepherd, Hank, in to work with me today. He was chilling in the back room with me when all of a sudden he crashed into something. I turned and saw him flip/roll over a few types while yelping bloody murder. I got him calmed down and then realized that he wasn't able to stand up. He was panicky and drug himself around by his front legs. Nothing in my dog mommy life was as painful to watch as that pathetic display.

A coworker came back and I asked him to call our manager so I could tell her what was going on, and that I'd be leaving. Someone called a few vets to see if anyone could get him in. By the time we found someone he was making a pathetic effort to stand. I carted him out to the truck, and set him down while I opened the door. Always one for a ride he tried twice to dive into the truck and my heart broke again.

At the vet's office they sedated him and took x-rays. Turns out he has two vertebra that at some point were fused together by arthritis and when he fell and went boom that fusion snapped apart. They gave him steroid shots and some laser treatment to get vertebra to heal. $550 later I called my mom through teary eyes to borrow the money as my meager savings were depleted when I got fired.

I feel awful! Poor guy is still looking all hunch backed and I have to give him ace to keep him quiet. The worst part is my other dog Lucky who is usually very intuitive to pain and illness in people is being a pushy jerk to him. The vet wants to do more laser treatments but right now with my crappy hours at work I have to see what kind of money I pull down at the bar.

I can't stop crying, I feel terrible. Someone once told me dogs don't feel sorry for themselves, and that is so true of Hank. He's being so stalwart. Nope, it's just me feeling sorry for myself. My mom hinted at putting him down if I have to keep doing the laser treatments, but I can't. He's my buddy. When no one else wanted to go for mountain bike rides, Hank did. When a breakup left me sleeping alone in a cold bed, Hank was there to cuddle. I couldn't go on right now if I didn't have a bratty little boy demanding I scratch his butt.

So keep Hank in your thoughts and prayers for me. He's my strength in this tough part of my life and if it means selling my bike, camera gear, DVD collection, whatever, I will make sure he's taken care of. He's my fur baby, and anyone who tells me I won't understand until I have "real kids" should see how red, puffy, and teary eyed I am right now.